Tag Archives: stress

Retirement is Looming!

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Four weeks from today I will begin a new journey, retirement. I have spent over 26 years as the secretary to the superintendent of our local school district. My school district actually. The one I attended and both of my children attended. I have been an Ardmore Tiger all my life. I have poured my blood, sweat, and yes tears into this job. It has been anything but boring. It has been challenging, rewarding, stressful and at times unbearable. There are so many aspects of the job I dearly love, but just as many in the end that I just couldn’t handle anymore. Can you say “burn out?” I’m there.

I have had the opportunity to work for five different superintendents and 19 different school board members. You know they say “change” is a four-letter word. But if you can’t roll with the change, you are in the wrong job. Sometimes change was good, and sometimes change was hard. Sometimes it was a breath of fresh air and sometimes, it was tough coming to work. Regardless of who my boss was, my job stayed pretty much the same, assisting the superintendent with their vision for the school district. I did that to the best of my ability and I’m proud of the things I accomplished while in that position.

So here I am at 62 years young and I’m retiring. I never planned on retiring at this age. When COVID hit here in Oklahoma and the country shut down, including all schools, my husband and I worked from home a lot. Some days we went in to work and some days we could just work from home. We spent an enormous amount of time together, just us. We went for walks, rode our ebikes, played pickleball by ourselves, cooked meals together, watched a lot of Netflix, and spent some quality time on our back patio. I absolutely loved it! Just me and my best friend in the whole world. I began to think that I could do this every day. Then I began to yearn to do this every day. I finally said out loud, “I think I might want to retire.”

Eventually, I shared my revelation with my boss and the office. I was giving them a little over a year and a half to adjust to the idea and to find my replacement. So the countdown to retirement officially began. We have a small office of five staff members. Our receptionist and my dear friend Kathleen also decided to retire. She has been with the school district for 33 years! We are going out together. We were so excited so I made us a “countdown” calendar starting July 1, 2021! Every day one of us goes into the breakroom and marks off another day. We have had a lot of fun doing that. We are so close we can taste it.

So I have had this vision in my mind about getting my office ready for someone else to come in and take over and getting someone trained. I began preparing notes and a “things to know” notebook, getting files straightened up, and just preparing to hand everything over and to have closure. Well three weeks into the countdown, my boss had to take an extended medical leave. That changed the trajectory of everything. He was out of the office for six months. Unsure of whether he would get to return or not, nothing was done about looking for a replacement for me or a timeline that we would. Ok, I’m not panicking yet.

We worked through a very difficult six months in the office when the boss returned in mid-January. While we were all thrilled to see him, we knew pretty quickly that his health was probably not going to let him continue in his capacity as the superintendent. Because the “powers that be” weren’t sure if he was staying or going, putting off posting my job and finding my replacement continued. Panicking a little now…..

In my boss’s absence, our assistant superintendent became the acting superintendent. We all knew that if something happened and “the boss” couldn’t return, she was fully capable of doing the job. And what I didn’t know at the time, was that if she did become the superintendent, her intention was to bring her current secretary with her. To make a long story short, the “boss” did decide to retire and go enjoy his life without the stresses of public education. Hey, that’s what I’m going to do too!

So now I know who is going to do my job and she just works down the hall. She has one of those jobs where she never gets to see the light at the end of the tunnel. She meets herself coming and going. Taking over my job will probably be a welcome change. But because she can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel and everything she does has timelines and deadlines, she hasn’t been able to do any training for her new job. Panicking a lot now! THIS has me massively stressed out. Not only will she be learning my job probably after I’m gone, but she is also going to have to train someone new to do her job. Did I mention that I am retiring four weeks from today?

For all of you out there that have already retired, you may be able to relate to my next topic; being superfluous. Since this is my first and only go-round with retiring, I have no experience with this. What I have been feeling didn’t have a name until about a month ago, when my husband named it for me. “You are superfluous,” he said. I knew he would understand because after he announced his retirement at his J.O.B. the same thing happened to him. I remember him coming home with very similar stories as mine. I saw how much it hurt him at the time, but I didn’t think that it would happen to me.

So what do I mean when I say “I’m superfluous?” It means I am no longer necessary or needed. Did you find that after you announced your intent to retire, you were no longer brought into the inner sanctum of discussions? No one told you anything anymore. Your opinion didn’t matter because you were retiring. You are no longer on a need-to-know basis. Now I am saying all this and I have every confidence that the people who are doing this are not doing it intentionally. They probably don’t even realize they are doing it. Nevertheless, it hurts just the same. I have been a vital and critical part of this district for 26 years and should continue to be that until I retire in four weeks. In talking to others I know who have retired, this is not uncommon, but I don’t have to like it.

So today I begin the countdown to my last four weeks. My job now is to just “let it go.” I need to be OK with not knowing everything. I need to be OK with the high possibility that I won’t get to spend much if any time training the person who will take my job. I need to accept that I may not get the closure I so desperately wanted. While I will continue to do my job to the best of my ability, my focus is on June 3 when my top priorities become my husband, my family, having fun, traveling, playing pickleball, and BEING RETIRED!

It’s Wal-Mart’s Fault

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BrowniesThe hubs has gone south this weekend to the Texas Hill Country to see his parents.  The dogs and I stayed at home.  This means I will have three very quiet days.  So this weekend will be some much needed down time for me.  Of course I still need to pick up the house and do laundry, but I am ready for a long, relaxing, no stress weekend.   Guess I should not have gone to Wal-Mart then…..

If you are lucky enough to live in a town with lots of grocery options, good for you.  That is not my experience.  In fact, the hubs does most of our grocery shopping and after today, I am remembering why.  We have a couple of grocery options, Homeland, which is pricier and I can never find anything there.  But when I’m desperate I do go there.  The other two options, you have to bring your own sacks and they don’t take debit cards.  That’s right, they don’t take debit cards.  Well that means, I don’t go there.  So 9 times out of 10, I make the trek into my local Wal-Mart, when I have to.

With the hubs gone, I wanted to make myself something yummy that I can eat on all weekend.  I chose my pasta primavera.  So I spent a nice quiet morning at home.  I did a couple of loads of laundry, watched several episodes of Say Yes to the Dress and then I decided it was time to do it.  It’s time to tackle Wal-Mart.

With my comfiest flip flops on I head out.  The first thing I notice is that the parking lot is pretty full.  Not a good sign.  I mean it’s not payday weekend so why is everyone here.  Instead of trolling up and down the isles in the parking lot looking for a space up close, I decide to park way out by the street and walk.  You know, get a little exercise in, make my Fitbit stand up and notice me.  Well crap, I forgot to put the Fitbit on.  Oh well, I know I’m getting in extra steps.

Two steps out of my car and I see them.  Over the past month or so, every time I go to our mall or grocery store, there are men walking around in the parking lots “giving away” loaves of homemade banana bread, for a donation.  The hubs and I stumbled upon some of them a few weeks ago and before we could escape, we heard the sales pitch.  They are recovering drug addicts trying to make their way in the world and don’t we want to help them out by taking one of their loaves of banana bread?  Um, no I do not.

So I see two of them up ahead of me and they are approaching people with their sales pitch.  Now, these guys frighten me.  I’m sorry, but they do.  And you know, they should never approach a woman in a parking lot.  Right?  One of my pet peeves is going to a store, only to find people set up right outside of the store selling something and asking me to buy it when I go into the store and then again when I come out.  So you can imagine how I feel about being approached by a man who tells me he is a recovering drug addict out in the parking lot without my husband….  I’m not very sympathetic and I am not about to accept a loaf of their banana bread.

Well that pretty much set the tone for the rest of my time in Wal-Mart.  This was one of those days when people went down the isles two buggies side by side blocking everybody’s way.  Or people would be stopped with their buggies talking and getting caught up with each other, again blocking the isle.  Hey, if you really want to talk, go out to the parking lot.  There are some guys out there who can give you some banana bread.

I have made so many detours in the store and waited behind so many buggies, that my stress level is pretty high.  I’m supposed to be having a quiet, low key weekend right?  I have everything I need, now I just need to get to the checkout counter and get out.  But wait, there it was.  Calling my name.  Really it was kind of screaming my name.  I’m shocked that everyone in the store didn’t turn and look.  What was it you asked?  It was an opportunity.  No it wasn’t, it was an indulgence and I needed an indulgence.  It was …… a big beautiful box of brownie mix!!!!  What goes good in brownie mix?  PECAN PIECES!!!!! Yep, got them too.  At this point I am just going to say it.  It’s Wal-Mart’s fault that I am buying brownie mix.  What’s a girl to do when she is all stressed out?  Isn’t chocolate our friend during these times? And who doesn’t love nuts with their brownies.

Now the task of finding the right checkout line.  I’m notorious for getting in the shortest, but slowest line.  But I hate to get in the longest line and hope it is the fastest.  What to do, what to do.  Hey there’s one and I can actually see the conveyor belt.  I’m wondering if it is a trick.  I’m kind of looking around, no one is running towards it.  Do I dare get in this line?  Oh I am just going to go for it.  I put my items on the belt and waited for my turn.  Hell did not freeze over and I zipped right through.  A young man by the name of Chris checked me out and when he handed me my receipt, told me to have a nice day.  Well ok Chris, I think I will.    Brownies anyone?