This has been an unusual spring. Apparently it is “snake” season, according to my daughter. I didn’t even know snakes had a season. All I do know is that I am TERRIFIED of snakes. ALL SNAKES. Once every so often I see a snake. I can’t even put a timeline on it. One snake every couple of years and usually it is a little grass snake that the lawnmower hacked.

Last summer in our old house, which is right next door to where we are living now, there was a snake at the base of our shade tree, right by the back patio and one of my little Cavaliers was headed right for it. It was coiled up, about 18 inches long and I FREAKED OUT. Grabbed the dogs, ran into the house yelling for my hero husband, who did not disappoint. “Took care of it” and we’ll leave it there. Do I know what kind of snake it was, NOPE. Am I worried? YEP.

Our next door neighbor is a country girl and she is out in her yard 18 hours a day 7 days a week. She has one of those Better Homes and Gardens yards. Beautiful, but a lot of work. But that is what she does, she loves it and she is exceptional at it. And, if you live next door, you get to enjoy seeing it. She is not afraid of anything. In the seven years we lived in that house, she has told me 3 or 4 times about the “copperhead” she killed in her yard that day. Yes a copperhead, next door to me, in the middle of town. So for all I know, that dastardly little 18 inch snake that my hero “took care of” could have been a copperhead too. We sold that house at the beginning of this year, not because of the snake incident, but sold it none the less.

We moved next door into my parents home while our new house is being constructed. We are on the tail end of this little camping adventure and living out of boxes. We had been discussing what towel racks we wanted in the new house when my hubby said, “come on, let’s go to Lowe’s and look around.” Off we went about 8:20 p.m., looked through our towel rack, toilette paper holder options and headed back home at 8:55 p.m. We pulled into the drive and headed for the front porch, which has about 4 stairs to get to the top. I am trailing a few feet behind Keith. As he reaches the base of the first step, he takes a very precise-looking military about face and is turning back toward me. It seemed odd and I allowed my gaze to drift to the porch. Terror surged through my body and it was all I could do to keep from screaming. The largest snake I have ever seen outside of a zoo was slithering up the steps onto this small front porch. Keith was hoping he had gotten turned around before I saw it. No such luck. What do we do now? I mean this thing was 6 feet long and as big around as my wrist. Did I mention we live in town! This did not resemble the 18 inch snake from last summer. It was a different color and had different markings. What the hell was it!!!!!

I remember very well how Keith “took care of” the last one and I was not in favor of him doing that with this one. It was just too big. I kept pleading with him to call animal control, or go two doors down and get the neighbor who is afraid of NOTHING. It slithered its way up onto the porch and it was getting dark outside. Keith had out his flashlight and we could see that it had hidden its big fat self in the corner behind my mother’s old concrete bench. Again, I begged my husband to call animal control. You know, sometimes husbands just don’t listen. Am I alone here??? He slipped off into the garage and found the same snake-killing tool he used on the last one and then he sent me into the house. A good thing and yet I did not want him around this behemoth of a snake. Since I normally do as I’m told, into the house I went. My little Cavaliers could not figure out what was happening on the front porch as Keith “took care of it”. Its remains went into our big trash can, which will keep me from taking out any trash until after the trash truck comes next week. I’m traumatized and ready to move into our new home even if we don’t have electricity or running water yet.

So here I am on my first Friday off for the summer. Just two days after the big snake event. I have had a wonderful morning. Drank my coffee slowly while the dogs were curled up in my lap. My favorite way to start my day. Keith headed off for work, I piddled around some more, took my shower and then decided to take the Cavaliers on a little walk in the park ,which is by our house. Our little boy Cavalier, Shawn, had been sitting and looking out the window all morning at the resident bunny in the neighborhood and he was just wound up tighter than a top. A nice little walk should take some of the wind out of his sail. I hooked my little angels up in their walking harnesses and off we went. We got to the top of our neighborhood and entered the park. There is a grassy area we have to walk through to get to the walking trail, but it is mowed and the burrs aren’t too bad, but some work will have to be done with fur when we get back. We walked along the beaten path got up onto the sidewalk and walked for a bit. Both dogs were slowing a bit so we turned to head back home. When we reached the end of the concrete sidewalk, we headed back across the beaten path we came in on and one that I have traversed across hundreds of times since living in this neighborhood. I kept trying to steer the dogs away from the grass that looked like it might have burrs. We were about half way down the path and getting close to the entrance to our neighborhood when I saw it. Something long and very dark gray or black. Was it a stick? I don’t remember seeing that stick when we came through here 15 minutes ago. My eyes followed the “stick” and you guessed it, not a stick. I knew for sure it wasn’t a stick when it angled up about 12 inches with a head that was turned and looking directly at me. CRAP! What is going on? Why is this happening to me? The second I realized it, and before the dogs saw it, we did that same move Keith did, except that the dogs and I took off running. Yes running. The entrance to our neighborhood was officially blocked off by this 4-5 foot black/gray snake. We had to take the long way home. Both dogs were panting like we had walked a hundred miles. I’m sure Shawn won’t care about bunnies for a while, at least not before a nap. For me, that is probably the last time while we live in this neighborhood that I will take this route to the park. Also, as I think about it, the snake was turned in the direction of my neighborhood. He’s probably headed for my house…. Did I mention I am TERRIFIED of snakes? Good thing Keith knows where that special tool is.