August 9

We Mom & Dadall have those days on our calendar representing life-changing events.  When that date rolls around you stop and remember whatever that significant event was for you.  Today, August 9 is a double whammy for me.  Six years ago today my mother passed away and two years ago today we buried my dad.  Just think about that for a minute.  Both of those massive, life changing events happening on August 9.

So today I have done some crying and some remembering about two people that were the most wonderful parents in the entire world.  Working in the field of education, I see first-hand every day children who are having a very different upbringing than I had.  My own children had a very different upbringing than I had and for many years that haunted me.  As a young mother, I wanted to give my children everything my parents had given me.  A home with two loving parents and parents who made their children a priority.  Well what my children got was one parent and two grandparents who loved them more than life itself.  My parents picked me up, dusted me off and stepped in to help me with a 3 and 6 year old when I moved home from a divorce.  It was such a blessing to have them in our lives and to help me be the best parent I could be.

I have so many wonderful childhood memories.  My parents were married almost 11 years before I came along and I was their only child.  Was I spoiled?  Sure I was.  There was nothing my father would not do for me when I batted my big blue eyes at him and we both knew it.    “Daddy, I saw a pair of shoes I really liked at the Den.”  “Well how much do you need,” he would say and reach in his pocket and hand me the money.  Of course he didn’t know that my mother had already told me I couldn’t have those shoes.  Next day when she saw me wearing them she asked, “Where did you get those shoes?”  My reply, “Daddy bought them for me.”  Now I have spent the last 40 years of my life thinking that I pulled one over one her with those shoes, but knowing my mother, I probably didn’t.

Dad BowlingMy dad ran the bowling center here in our town for 33 years.  Everyone in town knew him.  He worked a lot of evenings during leagues and many of those leagues were women’s leagues.  Now I always thought my dad was very attractive.  I would be at the bowling alley with him on many of those evenings and the ladies loved to flirt with him.  I can remember how angry it made me that they dared to flirt with MY DADDY.  Didn’t they know he was happily married to a wonderful woman?  I can remember asking my mother about it once.  Apparently I had a bit of a jealousy problem, and according to my mother, there was nothing I needed to worry about.  I guess she was right, they were happily married for 60 years.

My mom was the disciplinarian.  I can remember one time when I was around 6 I did somethinMom & Meg I should not have done and she was going to spank me.  Yes, I was spanked and I survived.  I remember her chasing me with a 12” ruler.  I ran into my room, jumped on my bed and got over by the wall.  I avoided the ruler.  Whew.  I can probably count the times on one hand when I actually got a spanking.  As a 12 year old I got a little lippy one time and stuck my tongue out at her when she turned her back on me.  Well as you can imagine, she turned around and caught me.  She made me stand there with my tongue out for what seemed like forever.  Oh, did you ever have to put your nose in the corner of the room and just stand there.  What a hoot.  Do you wonder how my dad got me to behave?  Well all he had to do was say, “Well the next time I go somewhere, I guess you won’t be going with me.”  Curses.  I couldn’t have that now could I?

My parents were as different as night and day and I like to think I am a good mixture of the two of them.  When I was younger, I tended to be more like my dad in my thoughts and actions.  But the minute I became a mother, I completely understood my mother.  It was like a light bulb came on and I was changed forever.

My mom was a kind and gentle woman.  She never said a bad word about anyone.  In 1994 she was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease and it finally took its toll on her in 2009.  She was such a strong woman for so long.  The night before she died, my daughter and her baby came in from Arkansas, my son came over and the three of us when next door to see her.  At this point, she was not conscious and hospice had come in.  The three of us talked to her and I recall telling her what a wonderful mother she was and that if she needed to go, we understood.  Then I promised her I would take care of daddy, she didn’t need to worry.  My dad called me the next morning and she was gone.  I know my mother well enough to know she waited for the three of us to come see her and give her that permission to move on.  I miss her every day.

My dad was never really the same after that.  They had had their 60th wedding anniversary just a few months prior to that, but my mom never knew it.  The last two years of her life were very difficult.  I watched my dad decline mentally for the next four years when on August 5, my daughter, son, husband and I gathered again this time at the hospital bed of my dad and waited with him as he took his last breath.  While it was very difficult, we would have never left his side.

So back to August 9.  Sometime that day in 2013, my daughter and I realized that his funeral was on the four year anniversary of her death.  How appropriate we thought.  They were finally together again and I felt great comfort in that.  As a Christian, I know I will see them again, but for now, I will continue to remember the wonderful parents I had.

Happy Mother’s Day

Purpose Flowers RaptureHappy Mother’s Day to all you mom’s out there. It’s our weekend, it’s our day. I’ll get a package from my daughter today or tomorrow. She is the one who NEVER forgets Mother’s Day and around 8:30 Sunday night, I’ll probably hear from my son. It’s amazing how different daughters and sons are. Both love you completely, but express it much differently. It has been my honor to be their mother. I usually feel I should be celebrating them on this day instead of the focus being on me. They are the two things in my life I would never change and I love them to the depths of my soul. Mushy huh. See, too emotional again.

From the time I was a very little girl, I always knew I wanted to be a mom. Every Christmas I would ask Santa for a baby doll, and every year I got one. I loved being mommy to those little dolls in the hopes of some day being a “real” mom. God granted me my wish with Loni and Craig. It took God a while longer to grant my wish for the right husband, but he did get it right with my children.

I had a great role model in my own mother. She was always so patient, calm and loving. In many ways, I am very similar to her and in other ways, I am very different. I had different things to contend with as a young mother, which molded and shaped my very psyche. For a big chunk of my children’s young lives, I was a single mother. But I had the love and support of my mother through some very difficult times and my children were the sole reason I survived. They were my very reason for getting up every morning and the reason I worked so hard to make sure they had what they needed. I couldn’t wait to see them every day after work and go with them to all their school functions. I miss sitting in bleachers watching baseball game after baseball game, softball game after softball game. I miss watching them bowl in league. I miss our trips to Six Flags. I miss sitting through school plays, high school basketball games just to watch my daughter cheer. I miss shopping for that perfect little Easter dress. I miss Easter baskets, the tooth fairy, Santa Clause, skinned knees, kisses & hugs from little arms. I miss it all, well almost all. I don’t miss poopy diapers, vomiting, messy rooms, dirty laundry, temper tantrums, missed curfews (you know who you are), sibling fights, snotty noses and dirty feet.

My daughter now has a family of her own and I love watching her be a mom. She is a stay at home mom. Now there is good and bad in that. It’s great to be with your kids every day, to watch them grow and mold their little minds. It’s also difficult to be with your kids every day, never having time for yourself, only having conversations with small people who argue with you about everything. I am not sure I could have done that in my 20’s when I had small children. You know that old saying, what goes around comes around? I am just sitting back and watching as my daughter lives that with her two kiddos. It’s humorous and I love it.

My son will be 26 this year. No wife, no girlfriend, what’s going on? I kid him about it all the time. It’s probably good that he’s single right now, but a mother can dream of the perfect girl to come along and take him off my hands.   Hahahah. Hope he doesn’t read this. I’m kidding Craig. I think it may actually be difficult for me when that day comes. He will be the first to tell you that he is a momma’s boy. He has been very protective of me growing up and he’s always been there for me. He would go with me to the movies, out to dinner, shopping or just hang out at the house growing up. From the time he was 10 to about 16, I didn’t date and he didn’t want me to be lonely. How sweet is that? So whoever comes along and wants to own my son’s heart is going to have to be a very special young lady.

So as I think about my own mom this weekend and our relationship, I am also celebrating being a mom too. It is truly the best job in the world. Happy Mother’s Day.