Tag Archives: family

Preparing

Posted on by
2

Grapes 2This time next week I will be on the other side of my brain tumor surgery. Whooohooo. I find myself thinking of little else as the countdown begins for our little trip to Houston. Today I am spending some time just enjoying the simple things in life. This morning it was hot coffee in my favorite chair covered in dogs with a fire in the fireplace. Later it was a trip to “Christmas in the Barn” south of town. Since it is a bit chilly here today, we bundled up and walked hand in hand around the craft fair looking at all the fun stuff. Wafting through the air was the smell of pinion wood and if you got a little cold, just stop by a fire pit to warm yourself.   Yes, today I am beginning the mental preparation.

I had planned in my mind to work until noon on Monday so I can come home and get ready for the trip both mentally and physically. But I think my boss may have other ideas. I’m pretty sure I mentioned in our staff meeting last week that was my plan, but yesterday he started talking about us meeting at 2:30 Monday. Well, what is he thinking?   Not sure by 2:30 my mind won’t be already moving on, but will stay as long as he needs me to, but after that 2:30 meeting, I gotta go. Not only is he worried about me, but I’m worried about him and the office. Hope it’s still there when I return. [wink/wink] They’ll be fine.

When I was trying to decide when to have this surgery, all I really looked at was what would cause the least amount of disruption at work. When was the best time to be gone? I figured that time frame out and scheduled my surgery. Well let me tell you what I did not consider and I may need to receive some kind of worst grandma in the world award for this one. The day before my surgery, my grandson turns 6 and the day after my surgery, my granddaughter turns 3. I can still recall my daughter reminding me that she will be missing her children’s birthdays. OMG. What kind of Mimi does that? I do have a brain tumor you know and can’t be held accountable for my actions. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking with it, for another few days anyway.

So what do you pack for this kind of surgery anyway? I have already been told by my doctor that the day before my surgery, I can have no makeup on because they are going to put some kind of dots on my head and face. Great, no makeup. I hope he recognizes me and that I don’t scare the living daylights out of people. AND, that morning will be the last time “I” can wash my hair until the staples come out of my head. Um let’s see, that’s 10 or 14 days. Are you kidding me? I am thankful my husband doesn’t love me for my beauty alone.

So back to this packing thing. Ok, I don’t need to take hair care products and I guess I really can leave my make up at home. So If I have to be in the hospital for 4 or 5 days, what’s a girl to wear? I refuse to stay in that stupid little hospital gown beyond the day of my surgery. I have a couple of cute comfy shirts I was thinking about taking, then I remembered that they would have to be pulled on over my head. Hmmm, not sure about that. I have soft stretchy pants that I certainly will be sporting. I have also been told that the next day they will have me up and walking. Walking may be a bit of a stretch. Let’s call it preparing to walk in case I have balance issues. I just really don’t know. I’m telling myself it will be no big deal. They will tell me it’s time to get out and do a little walking and I’ll say, well ok, let’s go. Guess I should take a pair of walking shoes. Keith has reminded me that I will probably have to use a walker for a while until we are sure about my balance. I’m ok with that.

Keith, Craig and I will start our little journey to Houston some time Tuesday morning. I would like to get there and get settled in and eat at one of our favorite restaurants. My pre-op stuff starts at 8:30 the next morning and I literally have something every half hour with my final appointment scheduled for 5 p.m. I did notice they gave me an hour for lunch. My daughter’s plane arrives from Little Rock at 6:30 p.m. and Keith will go out to the airport and retrieve her. We will have a nice quiet evening together and then Thursday morning, it’s removal of brain tumor time.

Yes, I’m nervous but I think I’m handling it ok. I have heard several time frames for the surgery: 4-6 hours, 10 hours and 12 hours. I’m hoping for the 4-6 hour option myself and I know my loved ones sitting in the waiting room will be as well.   I am so grateful to have the three of them there with me. They are my three favorite people in the whole world and I love them so much. I am also thankful for all my friends who are praying for me and for those who are praying for me and don’t even know me. I am humbled by all the support I have received. Thank you all. I know that God will be with me during this journey and he will guide the hands of my surgeons.   So I’m signing off for now and as soon as I get rid of this brain tumor and my thinker is working again, I’ll let you know how it went.  Peace be with you.

 

An Unwelcome Visitor – In My Brain!

Posted on by
Reply

MD AndersonIf there is one thing I have learned in my 50+ years of life is that life is full of ups and downs, blessings and curses, highs and lows, good and bad. It is truly a mixed bag. Some people seem to have more bad than good and some people never seem to have anything difficult happen to them. I think my life falls somewhere in the middle. There have been many times in my life that I have just floated along like a butterfly unaware of anything bad, nothing ever touching me. Then there have been times when I have been down in the muck and thought I would never get out. Those have all been learning experiences for me. They have made me who I am today and the highs and lows and blessings and challenges will continue to shape me, but they will not destroy me.  They serve to make me stronger.

Ten months after I married the man of my dreams, he is diagnosed with cancer. Together with God and MD Anderson, we kicked cancer’s but and just three short weeks ago MD Anderson officially graduated him and told us we didn’t have to come back. What an awesome feeling and an answered prayer for sure. For five years we continued to make that trek to Houston for his checkups. We jumped for joy and were giddy all the way home. Keith said to me, “We never have to come back here.” My response? “I know, unless I get sick.” Famous last words.

Last week I learned that I have an acoustic neuroma. A “what” you say? Basically it is a “benign” tumor in my brain that will have to be dealt with. It is not cancerous, it grows very slowly but it has to go. My first symptom, like millions of us out there, was Tinnitus. My left ear has been ringing for 9 months if not more. I have lost track because I spend all my time trying to ignore it. Then right as we are moving into the new house, I noticed that I am not hearing as well out of my left ear. It was like I was wearing an earplug. Things were kind of muffled. So off to the doctor I go, have an MRI and there it is, the unwelcome visitor in my brain. All 1.46 centimeters of it. Well crap. My local doctor sends me to a specialist in OKC who tells me what I have and what my options are. As he is describing the three possible surgical options of going into my brain, I could literally feel all the color drain from my face. He gave me the good, bad and ugly of a surgery. Then he gave me a little information about the “gamma knife” radiation option, which initially sounded great, but by the time he finished, wasn’t a perfect option either. At the end of his speech he asked if I had any questions. I can’t even speak at this point. Then just over my left shoulder comes a very strong voice, my hero husband who has LOTS of questions. Keith jumps right in and is asking questions right and left, some I am grasping and some I’m not. Then Keith asked the question, “what if we do nothing?” I perked up a bit for that one. Doctor said, “Eventually, she will die.” So much for doing nothing.   The doctor wanted to make sure that I understood that it was not a death sentence, it was fixable and it WAS NOT cancer. That did make me feel better. Obviously we have some research to do and some decisions to make.

In the car heading away I know I have to call my daughter who is waiting 350 miles away to hear what this doctor said. We talk about it, I tell her what the doctor said and that we didn’t have to do anything immediately. We would be exploring all options. She agreed, more research and exploring all options. Keith, trying to cheer me up and take my mind off it, takes me to test drive new cars. Great distraction!

We arrived home and I am trying to be brave. On the inside I need a good cry. On the outside, the tears aren’t coming. I admit it, I am scared. I have another conversation with my daughter who has spoken with her husband, Charles. My daughter is convinced that if I need surgery, we just need to pack up, come to Little Rock and have it done there. Not a bad idea.   We go to bed for the evening and I’m doing a little reading when my daughter calls again right at 10 p.m. Her message to me when I answer the phone, “Charles wants to talk to you.” Charles works in the medical field and with Neurosurgeons. I guess he has been kind of sharing my “issues” with them casually as I go through these tests. They have given him opinions and what not. So when Loni called him about what the doctor said about my “surgery” options, he called to make sure that I DID NOT let this ENT surgeon drill into my head.

The next morning I have my instructions from Charles: get another copy of my MRI disk and overnight it to him. He will ask his neurosurgeon to look at it and give us an unbiased opinion. We really liked that idea. So off to the hospital I go to get another copy of the disk. By the way, the little gal in medical records is not very friendly. She literally made me feel like I was imposing on her. Next off to the UPS Store to overnight it to Little Rock. By the way, the people at my UPS store, VERY friendly and VERY helpful.

So now it is Sunday morning and I am still thinking about my options. It’s hard to think about little else. My in-laws and brother in law were in from Texas and they did provide some distraction from my little tumor friend, but it was never very far from my mind. Then Keith and I wondered if MD Anderson would look at it. I’m thinking no since it’s not cancer. Then Keith replies, “Not cancer, but it is a brain tumor.” Good point. I went to their website and typed into the search: acoustic neuroma. OMG, they have an acoustic neuroma center and it’s part of the Head and Neck Center where Keith got treatment. About 30 minutes later Charles calls me. His neurosurgeon has looked at my disk. His response was if it were his wife, he would go the gamma-knife route. Then he said, “She needs to go to MD Anderson in Houston, Texas.” Feeling a bit like a God thing here. In fact, Dr. Thomas knows one of the head docs in the Acoustic Neuroma Center and he got the ball rolling to get me an appointment! Charles continued to follow up and by Wednesday, I had an official appointment for next week. Now I guess I can classify Charles as my hero son-in-law.

Yes, we are headed back to Houston, to the same place we never thought we would see again. To the place we know like the back of our hand. To the place that I entrusted the life of my husband and the place that did not disappoint. I am anxious to see what they suggest and how we will proceed.

I’ll keep you posted on the progress. Stay tuned.