Tag Archives: exercise

The Journey to Normal

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Chef Mickeys crop.jpgIn November of 2014, I had a tumor removed from my brain.  Hearing loss was my only symptom and the only reason it was detected when it was.  I have no idea how long I had been struggling with this hearing loss or when it even started.  I just know I put my finger in my good ear to scratch it in the summer of 2014 and noticed that the volume on the TV went way down.  It was a light bulb moment for sure.

I made the appointment with an ENT and had a hearing test, from there an MRI which showed that I had a 1.48 cm tumor sitting on my hearing and balance nerve.  I weighed my options and had my surgery in November of 2014 at MD Anderson in Houston, Texas.  Surgery went great, only took 5 ½ hours and 5 days later I got to go home!  All of the tumor was removed, there has been no facial paralysis, I still have “some” hearing in my left ear and I am not having any bouts with vertigo.  YEA!

Every day since November 20, 2014 I have been working to return my life to “normal.” Well I am fast approaching the 2 year anniversary of my surgery and returning to normal has turned into creating a new normal.  You expect things to be difficult during the first few months after surgery.  I mean, they did cut open my head and remove something.  Not a minor surgery by any means.

In my new normal, I understand and accept that roller coasters or rough rides of any kind are OFF LIMITS.  Oh and none of those that twirl and spin rides either.  I did ride on Splash Mountain in the Magic Kingdom and I even did the Star Wars simulator ride at Hollywood studios.  A time or two when I thought the simulation was a little extreme, I just closed my eyes.  Worked like a charm.

In my new normal, I have to be very careful with sneezing or coughing.  If either sneak up on me and I’m not prepared for a “controlled” sneeze or cough, I suffer the consequences afterwards.  The entire back of my head feels like it is going to explode.  It takes me 20 to 30 minutes to get things calmed down.  I have learned a lot of massage techniques for my head when the headaches come.

In my new normal, I also understand that my balance is different and I have to be very careful when going up and down stairs and I really don’t want to trip.  I have lost my balance a few times by tripping over something, usually my own feet.  Once I am knocked off balance, unless someone is there to catch me, I will fall.  A couple of weeks ago we went to Disney World with the family.  We were all standing on Main Street in the Magic Kingdom watching the fabulous fireworks at 10:15 p.m. when I decided to move over a little.  I tripped over the train track in the road and was headed down.  It felt like I was moving in slow motion and I knew there was nothing I could do to stop it.  However, my husband who never moves very far away from me, caught me and I did not fall.  My hero.

Dancing was another area I was worried about.  Keith and I love to ballroom dance and I love for him to spin me.  That did not come easy, let me tell you.  We have worked on it and I’m very proud to say that I can do the double spin again.  Of course Keith is right there to keep me moving in the right direction.

I have not gotten back into running yet.  In fact, my entire desire to walk, run or do any form of exercise has been non-existent.  Yoga is completely off the table because it still bothers me when I have to bend over.  Downward dog would be so bad right now.   I have to be careful just bending over to pick up the dog food bowls twice a day.

I have been working for almost a year now to get in control or eliminate the headaches I have been getting since the surgery.  I am pleased to say that it appears I am on a good path with the headaches right now and I am trying to add back walking every day.  My headache regime is meds from neurologist, head and neck message every other week, chiropractic treatment and best of all, acupuncture.  I truly feel that the acupuncture has been the catalyst to make everything work together.  The headaches are mostly manageable now, fewer and farther in between.  I am looking forward to the day when someone asks me about my headaches and I can say, what headaches.

There are still a couple of things I have not tried yet because I just don’t know what will happen.  Tennis is one of them.  Since jarring things or sudden movements make my head hurt, not sure what will happen if I hit a tennis ball with the racquet.  The other sport that I dearly love and have not tried yet is bowling.  I had just gotten a new ball and shoes right before my diagnosis.  Fear has kept me from trying that as well.  I will continue my journey to create my new normal, taking each day one step at a time.  Who knows what will happen next.

I Can Start Running Again!

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Running GearIt has been 14 weeks since my surgery and I am so ready to be normal again. I hope normal is an option. But maybe I am actually shooting for normal plus. Yes, let’s say I’m shooting for normal plus. I had my three month post-op appointment in Houston a week ago and saw neither of my surgeons. Bummer. One was not going to be there and had to cancel his portion of my appointment and the other one got called into emergency surgery. I still had the MRI and the hearing test and both were fine. Nothing has grown back according to the MRI [awesome news] and my hearing is no worse than before the surgery. I can live with that for now.

What I really wanted from that appointment was for my surgeons to brag on how wonderful I was doing and that my life could get back to normal. I wanted them to see what a great job they did. Instead, my ENT surgeon’s resident met with me. Now I could have hung around in Houston for several more hours until Dr. Gidley got out of his emergency surgery but I knew I was ok.  I didn’t need my surgeons to tell me that.  Besides, a girl does have her priorities.  I had a hot date with my husband to go dancing.

I have been really anxious to get back to running so I asked the question to the young resident. Can I start running again? He told me I could definitely start back, just to take it slow. No worries there. Slow and easy is my thing. I have put back on all the weight I had worked so hard to lose two years ago, so I am essentially starting over yet again. I am ok with that too.

The first thing I did when we got home was to reload the “From Coach Potato to 5K” app back onto my iPhone. I remember so well the first time I used it three years ago. Keith and I had participated in the A2A 5K here in Ardmore in 2011 and I literally walked 90% of it. I had never run before and had never trained to run. I had no expectations and we were only participating because Keith’s employer had encouraged all their employees to be a part of the event. So we did. After that we both kind of got the running bug and decided that we would be better prepared for the next year.

This is where my little 5K Runner app came in. Keith got us a home treadmill and everything. We really didn’t have room for it, but we crammed it into the little third bedroom Keith was using for an office. This cute little app starts you off with a 5 minute warm up and ends with a 5 minute cool down. In the middle, you learn how to run. The first time it has you run, you run for an entire minute! Do you know how hard that was for me? That one minute seemed like an eternity and I was breathing like a freight train. I will never be able to do this. My thighs were screaming and I was getting shin splints.

Somehow I got through those three days of one minute runs and then it got jacked up to 1 ½ minute running intervals. Again I would tell myself, I can’t do this! I remember the day I knew I was going to have to run for 2 entire minutes. I told Keith, “I can’t run for two minutes.” He just looked at me and smiled. He’s a machine and was already running his three miles pretty effortlessly. Let’s just say it’s easier for men can we? Little by little I continued to work the program and when I participated in the A2A 5K in 2012, I cut six minutes off of my first years’ time. The next year, I ran the entire thing. I did not set any land speed records, but I ran the entire thing. I had reached my weight loss goal and was feeling pretty good.

Now here’s where life and excuses come into play. Shortly after the 2013 A2A I found out that I have three bulging disks in my neck with bone spurs. My doctor told me to quit running. He said it was the worst thing I could do. I was so bummed. I had worked so hard and it was something I was really learning to enjoy. Of course this is also the period of time when my dad’s health was not great and things with him were consuming me. So for the next couple of years, my exercising was spotty and pretty inconsistent. In July of 2014 I rededicated myself to starting over with my health and in September I found out I had a brain tumor. The violins are playing very loudly here. Can you hear them too?

So once again I am starting over. My intentions are always good, it’s just the follow through. I can think of it like getting over an addiction, one day at a time. Oh and this week I heard on the news that sugar is as addictive as cocaine. Well it really was hard for me to not eat that hot roll and Santa Fe Steak House last night, so I ate it. Let me stop thinking about that hot roll and get back to my point, which is starting over.

So last Saturday I got out the shoes, got my iPhone, plugged in my tunes, turned on my 5K Runner app and I went out into a beautiful 53 degree sun shiny day and headed for the trails by my house. It was awesome. I did my five minute warm up like I was instructed and then my app told me to begin running. Yes, here we go. I started off [very slowly of course] and wasn’t even thinking about it. I had some good tunes on and I was looking at the scenery and I no more got started that my app told me to “slow down and walk”. Had it been a minute already. I’m not even out of breath. What is the deal? This went on for about 20 minutes; walk 2 minutes and run 1 minute. When I was done with the day one workout I was shocked. I hadn’t even gotten out of breath. That one minute seemed like 15 seconds. Maybe I haven’t lost everything I had worked so hard to achieve prior to my surgery. Yippee.

Since last Saturday the weather has been crappy and my training has been taken up into the bonus room where my old friend the treadmill sits proudly. She and I have met several times this week for my one minute bouts of running. This morning however, I began week two on the app and had to run 1 ½ minute intervals and I did it without collapsing. So exciting. Maybe the following week I will be at the 2 minute run interval. I know at some point it will get harder and I can’t wait.

I continue to move from normal to attain normal plus.  Next step?  Getting my hair color fixed!   I long for the smell of hair dye and to kiss this dishwater blonde hair goodbye.  I just have to hang on one more week .

Eight Weeks Post-Op

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Shoes 2Well it’s been eight weeks since my little surgery and I’m plodding along. I have been back at work for two full weeks and that has been great. All that sitting at home recovering was beginning to turn my brain into mush. Sitting too long made my neck and head hurt. Oh heck, everything makes my neck and head hurt to a degree. I think it may be the new normal for a while. The first day back in the office was weird, but after that I felt like I had never been gone. I’m sure being away from a person’s job for seven weeks makes it difficult for anyone to just jump right back in, but add the additional issue of brain surgery and it kind of takes on a whole new meaning.

One of the things that is recommended for people who have had this surgery is to walk, a lot. It helps with the balance and dizziness. I did a really good job of this initially when I got home. I was outside walking through the neighborhood the very week I got home. The weather was great and I was VERY woozy. In fact it was scary because things were not in great focus and I could not move my head very far or very quickly. But I made myself do it. Then icky weather arrived and the cold air makes my head hurt so I went outside less and less to walk. I do have a treadmill upstairs, but didn’t go up there and use it. And now that I’m back at work, I have even less time to walk. Don’t you love excuses? I know I do.

So yesterday the weather in southern Oklahoma was finally better. The temperature in the low 60’s by the afternoon. A brisk southwesterly wind initially and the sun was shining. Haven’t seen much of the sun around here for a while and it was a welcome sight. So yesterday morning I made yet another commitment to myself to get my butt up and out the door for a nice walk. Take in a little fresh air and get some vitamin D. I had not ventured out of my neighborhood to walk since the surgery, so today was the day.

I got to digging around in my closet and found my workout clothes. Yes they were right where I left them months ago. So I bundled up, got my ear buds, my cell phone, my sunglasses and something to cover my ears and out the door I went. Today’s challenge: Regional Park! With my Fitbit all charged up I went to my Fitbit App and told it to log my walk and off I went. I rounded the corner of my house and the southwest wind hit me. Whew, it’s a little chilly, but I shall persevere. I headed south out of my neighborhood, crossed behind the AHS girls’ softball field and there I was on the city’s walking trail headed for Regional Park. Continued south at Veterans Boulevard, crossed Commerce, worked my way passed Skateland and Daylight Donuts and there it was just around the bend, Regional Park. It has been months since I had been in the park and I have missed it. Now it’s time to put on some tunes, which of course have the perfect walking beat and help me put a little spring in my step.

I am officially in the park and my Fitbit App tells me I have already gone a mile. Whooohooo. So how far should I go? I could just walk up to the skate park and then go back home. I could walk up to the softball fields and then go home. I could go through the woods over by the pavilion OR I could go all the way to the top of the walking trail. Since we moved to our new house last summer, I have never gone from our house to the top of the walking trail and back and I wasn’t completely sure how far that was. But you know, today was the day to find out.

The first part of the adventure is downhill, piece of cake. Then you get to the bottom of the hill at the skate park and it’s uphill for a bit. A good bit actually. I could feel every muscle in my body engaging. I kept telling myself to breath, that always helps. So just about the time I got to the pavilion, my Fitbit tells me I have walked two miles. Well ok. My favorite part of the park is walking through the heavily wooded trail behind the pavilion. It’s beautiful and peaceful. I love listening to the wind blow through the trees, when I don’t have my earbuds in that is. Today I’m stepping to Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Flo Rida, Cee Lo Green, Psy, Usher, LMFAO, Foo Fighters and Rihanna. An eclectic group of songs I think all motivating me to keep moving.

Since balance is an issue, this particular walking trail is perfect, because it’s hilly and uneven. There are times when the path gently slopes. Makes me really work hard on the uneven surface with my uneven balance. I am fast approaching the top of the walking trail when my Fitbit tells me I have gone three miles. Wow. Do you know what that means? It means that I am three miles away from home and I still have to turn around and get home. Yep, by the time I had gotten home, I had traversed 6.07 miles eight weeks after brain surgery. That is the farthest I have ever walked at one time. By the time I went to bed, my Fitbit said I had taken 17,000 steps. Well it was 16,984 when I crawled into bed so I got up and walked to the kitchen and back so it would officially be 17,000.

So this morning, as you can imagine, my feet hurt and most every muscle from my waist down hurts. But it’s a good hurt. My pinky toenail lacerated its neighboring toe so I also have that to contend with today. Nothing a Band-Aid can’t solve. So enough whining already. I laced up my shoes again this afternoon, headed out but only for a 3 mile adventure this time. For all my Acoustic Neuroma warriors out there, hang in there. You can do it and it does get easier every day.

Peace be with you.

Weight Loss Challenge – Month 1 Report

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Winter in Regional Park 2

Ok, it’s been four weeks since I began my new weight loss get fit challenge. I began this journey publicly stating I wanted to lose 12 pounds by eating better and getting some form of exercise. I am giving myself until next June prior to my family trip to the beach in Florida [I sure hope it doesn’t take that long].  I will not do this by crash dieting or using some diet product, but by eating better and getting the proper nutrition.   I will use food as “fuel” not as entertainment.  However, if I choose to have a piece of key lime pie or a couple of margaritas, I will.  I will continue to have my Herbalife shake each day for my guaranteed nutritious breakfast, lunch or dinner and have my energizing tea with mango aloe throughout the day.    Lean meats, fish, fruits, veggies and whole grains are my friend.  I will do my best to put on my walking shoes and hit the pavement or treadmill each day, or some other form of exercise to help me reach a calorie deficit.

So here I am four weeks later and guess how it went?  Well in four weeks I have lost only one pound!  So this is where I would normally say “forget it” and give up.  Not this time.  When I reflect back on my month, I can see what I did right and certainly what I could have done better.    Life is about choices and making the healthier choice is not always the easiest. 

I love my Fitbit.  It logs my steps every day.  My goal is to get in 7500 steps a day, roughly 3 miles.  On weekdays when I’m working, I struggle to get there and MOST days I don’t make it.  Some days I don’t even come close.  For instance, this past Thursday, I took 2,695 steps for the entire day.  Yikes.  I didn’t get up from my desk hardly at all except to go to the restroom and go home.  When I got home I was mentally drained and although I knew if I would get out in the fresh air and walk I would feel better, I did not.  See, choices.  Sadly, this past month I have had more days like last Thursday.

Now there have been some days when I have done really well.  On Saturdays and Sundays I always reach my 7,500 because I usually  go for a walk and I’m all over this house doing laundry, cleaning or “piddling”.  Mostly piddling.  But hey, I’m up and moving.  On weekend days I usually even hit 10,000 or 12,000 steps.  It’s awesome and I am very proud of myself and feel better on those days.  My best day was on July 30 with 28,351 steps.  That’s just short of 12 miles!  The following day, 17,082.  Those two days we were in Washington DC touring the National Mall, the monuments, the museums and the White House.  For future reference, I do not recommend walking 28,351 steps in “flip flops.”  I am a girl from Oklahoma who doesn’t like to wear shoes in the summer.  I would wear flip flops every day if I could.  However, I realized that I probably should have brought my walking shoes.  By the time we called it quits that day, my feet hurt so bad I thought I might shed a tear.

So obviously I realize that I need to work on the getting up and moving part.  I need to not let my hectic days at work sabotage me.  I am looking forward to a little cooler weather where when I do walk, the heat doesn’t zap me. If I was superman like my husband, I would get up and walk in the mornings when it’s cool.  He runs about 5 times a week about 8 miles at a time and he leaves the house in the dark at 5:30 a.m.  See superman.  I should be using him as my inspiration.  Here’s a man who is a 5 year cancer survivor who is an active runner, losing weight without trying, eats what he wants because he gets PLENTY of exercise.  He’s a hard act to follow, but I am very proud of him.

Now my other issue is food.  Not as big an issue I don’t think as the sedentary side of my life.  I do try to make good food choices even when we travel.  Now there are days that I just blow it and I know it.  Right after I started this little adventure was when we traveled to DC.  While eating out I tried to find the healthier options on the menus.  One evening for dinner our hotel restaurant had an amazing grilled salmon.  I love a good salmon.  Then the day I walked the 28,ooo steps, we had lunch at a place across from the White House called Old Ebbett’s Grill.  They had a kale/quinoa salad with grilled chicken that was to die for.  I need that recipe. 

So here I start another month.  I’m taking a deep breath, keeping positive thoughts and am confident that my next report will be better.  

Creative Hiatus

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Five ToesIt’s been two weeks since I have written anything. It’s not that I didn’t try; I just could not make the thoughts in my head make sense on paper.   I’m calling it a creative hiatus. But this morning as I was taking my long power walk through Regional Park, I could feel some of the fog lifting in my head and felt a little creativity creeping back in. For me, writing is therapy. Blogging has been the perfect outlet for this. Sometimes what I write even get’s read and that’s fun too.   The way this works for me is that thoughts just pop in my mind. This usually happens when I’m doing something, after I have done something or seen someone else do something. The little tape recorder in my head begins to record it and I feel this need to write it down. Once I write it down I feel better and can move on. See, therapy.   Many times it allows me to see something in a different light or it gives me a better clarity over a situation.   Sometimes it’s just something that has struck me as funny or interesting.

So why has my creativity been on hiatus? Several things have gone on around me the last few weeks that have really affected my state of mind. First off, I have this thing going on at work. Of course it is a “personnel” matter so I cannot give any details. But let me just tell you this, I wish I could. Anyway, this situation has many in my community in an uproar and it has caused me some real heartache. Common sense and logic have just been thrown out the window. I love my community and I want what is best for it always. This situation is a no win situation any way it goes.   Only time will tell what the damage from this truly will be.

Secondly, a little over a week ago a dear friend of mine’s son committed suicide. He was 23, my son is 25.   As a mother, the empathy here is HUGE! You put yourself in their shoes and it’s just more than you can bear. As my son and I left the funeral last Saturday and I was weeping almost uncontrollably, my son put his arms around me and I just looked into his eyes and said, “Promise me.” He knew what I meant and said, “I promise, mom”. The death of a child in any situation is a tragedy, but for me, I would think that having your child commit suicide would be on a completely different level of pain. My heart breaks for what my friend and her family are going through. I pray every day that God will be with her and her family to help them get through this. I kept sitting down at the computer last weekend trying to write something, but I could not stop crying. I finally just gave up and knew that my mind couldn’t do it.

Yesterday was my 6 year wedding anniversary and we went to our Two Left Feet dance. It was the scheduled spring event and it just happened to be on our anniversary. We got to have a party with a band and food and only had to pay for ourselves. Pretty sweet huh? It was fun remembering that six years ago at 8:30 p.m., at the place we were dancing last night, we were also dancing at our wedding reception. Sometime during the evening Keith looked and me and said, “Ok, what are you thinking. What’s going on in your head”? I hadn’t realized it but I had let my mind drift back off into the fog it’s been in for weeks. Here I was dancing with my amazing husband, celebrating our anniversary and I had let the actions of others seep into my happy space.  Not OK.

So this morning I put on my walking shoes and headed for the park. I needed to gain a little clarity and get out of my funk. After 4.2 miles this what I have committed to doing.

  1.  I will continue to pray for my friend.
  2. For that other issue at work, I will just continue to do what I know is right. I can’t control the actions of others.
  3. Accept that logic and common sense don’t always apply in every situation.

Have a wonderful Easter, I plan to.