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Happy Mother’s Day

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Purpose Flowers RaptureHappy Mother’s Day to all you mom’s out there. It’s our weekend, it’s our day. I’ll get a package from my daughter today or tomorrow. She is the one who NEVER forgets Mother’s Day and around 8:30 Sunday night, I’ll probably hear from my son. It’s amazing how different daughters and sons are. Both love you completely, but express it much differently. It has been my honor to be their mother. I usually feel I should be celebrating them on this day instead of the focus being on me. They are the two things in my life I would never change and I love them to the depths of my soul. Mushy huh. See, too emotional again.

From the time I was a very little girl, I always knew I wanted to be a mom. Every Christmas I would ask Santa for a baby doll, and every year I got one. I loved being mommy to those little dolls in the hopes of some day being a “real” mom. God granted me my wish with Loni and Craig. It took God a while longer to grant my wish for the right husband, but he did get it right with my children.

I had a great role model in my own mother. She was always so patient, calm and loving. In many ways, I am very similar to her and in other ways, I am very different. I had different things to contend with as a young mother, which molded and shaped my very psyche. For a big chunk of my children’s young lives, I was a single mother. But I had the love and support of my mother through some very difficult times and my children were the sole reason I survived. They were my very reason for getting up every morning and the reason I worked so hard to make sure they had what they needed. I couldn’t wait to see them every day after work and go with them to all their school functions. I miss sitting in bleachers watching baseball game after baseball game, softball game after softball game. I miss watching them bowl in league. I miss our trips to Six Flags. I miss sitting through school plays, high school basketball games just to watch my daughter cheer. I miss shopping for that perfect little Easter dress. I miss Easter baskets, the tooth fairy, Santa Clause, skinned knees, kisses & hugs from little arms. I miss it all, well almost all. I don’t miss poopy diapers, vomiting, messy rooms, dirty laundry, temper tantrums, missed curfews (you know who you are), sibling fights, snotty noses and dirty feet.

My daughter now has a family of her own and I love watching her be a mom. She is a stay at home mom. Now there is good and bad in that. It’s great to be with your kids every day, to watch them grow and mold their little minds. It’s also difficult to be with your kids every day, never having time for yourself, only having conversations with small people who argue with you about everything. I am not sure I could have done that in my 20’s when I had small children. You know that old saying, what goes around comes around? I am just sitting back and watching as my daughter lives that with her two kiddos. It’s humorous and I love it.

My son will be 26 this year. No wife, no girlfriend, what’s going on? I kid him about it all the time. It’s probably good that he’s single right now, but a mother can dream of the perfect girl to come along and take him off my hands.   Hahahah. Hope he doesn’t read this. I’m kidding Craig. I think it may actually be difficult for me when that day comes. He will be the first to tell you that he is a momma’s boy. He has been very protective of me growing up and he’s always been there for me. He would go with me to the movies, out to dinner, shopping or just hang out at the house growing up. From the time he was 10 to about 16, I didn’t date and he didn’t want me to be lonely. How sweet is that? So whoever comes along and wants to own my son’s heart is going to have to be a very special young lady.

So as I think about my own mom this weekend and our relationship, I am also celebrating being a mom too. It is truly the best job in the world. Happy Mother’s Day.

 

Maybe I’m Too Emotional

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Italian WindowsThe older I get the more I seem to cry very easily. Commercials, animal videos, sad stories, happy stories, quiet times, hectic times, geez. I’m such a girl. Sometimes I can’t even watch a commercial for the emotional toll it would take. For instance, the commercials from the ASPCA showing the dogs in cages that need homes. The minute I hear the music on the TV for that commercial, I change the channel. Who wants to see that? I even have my husband trained to change the channel the minute the music starts to play. Hallmark greeting card commercials tear me up. The new Budweiser puppy commercial is the latest commercial to “get me choked up”.

My favorite movies are romantic comedies. Those are always tear jerkers for me. In You Got Mail, when Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan meet in that park and she realizes he is the guy she has been talking to via email, my heart swells and I get teary. In the movie, He’s just not that into you”, when Ben Affleck gets down on one knee to ask Jennifer Anniston to marry him, again heart swells and I get teary. Basically any time I watch something and a girl is getting proposed to, it gets me right in the tear ducts. Why is that?

Now I have always been very sensitive to all things dog and mom/child oriented, but lately I have come to the realization that I am a bit more emotional than I used to be. Things touch me more than they used to. Is it my lack of hormones? Maybe. Does it bother me that I am more emotional? Not really but it is something that I seem to be more aware of. I have actually given it quite a bit of thought lately and earlier this week as my husband and I were driving down the road, it hit me. I am more emotional now because I can be. I don’t have to hold my emotions in. I don’t have to be strong all the time. I can let go and feel what I feel. It is wonderful.

For most of my adult life I have been the one to do everything. During both of my failed marriages I had to hold it together or lose my sanity. I had to take care of everything. Stay tough, stay strong or fall apart. I couldn’t fall apart. I had these two wonderful children that I had to be a rock for. I was it. I was the person they counted on every day for every thing. I was not going to let them down as I had to be “super mom”.

It is wonderful knowing that I no longer need to walk through my life alone and handle everything all by myself. I can share my thoughts and feelings. I can ask for help with something. I can refuse to do something if I don’t want to. I thank God every day for my partner in life, my husband, who allows me to be the real me every day, emotions and all.

Thunder Struck

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ThunderWhen you think about sports in Oklahoma, football comes to mind immediately. When asked, most Oklahomans are proud to tell you they are an OU Sooner or an OSU Cowboy fan and the rivalry is intense. Oklahoma loves football so several years ago when Oklahoma City started talking about bringing NBA basketball to our great state; I thought that will never fly. Who in the world is going to get behind that? We are in football country!

Well I am very proud to say that I was wrong. I have now attended three OKC Thunder games and let me tell you, NBA basketball in Oklahoma is red hot. Every seat in the Chesapeake Arena is full and everyone is up on their feet screaming. It’s not called “Loud City” for nothing. People are crazy for NBA basketball in Oklahoma, in the middle of football country. The Oklahoma City Thunder is referred to as “the team we can all get behind.”

I just kind of take it all in from the moment we enter the Arena until we left. It truly is like attending a show that just happens to have a basketball game going on at the same time. From before tipoff until the time on the clock runs out, everything is orchestrated and coordinated. While timeouts are occurring, you are being entertained by something on the court, or T-shirts being shot out of a cannon or contests between fans. If you came in thinking you were going to watch a leisurely game of basketball, you quickly find out that you were wrong.    In fact, it truly is sensory overload, music, lights, cheering, buzzers, people wearing crazy outfits and the game itself.

I have never been an NBA fan and don’t know much about basket ball, but I can sure tell you about the starting lineup for the Thunder. If you have never seen an NBA game, I encourage you to go. The players are phenomenal. They can fly through the air with ease and can make the impossible possible. I’m blown away each and every time. I’ve even starting watching their games on TV. I think I’m officially a basketball fan.

Now with all that said, let me just tell you that our awesome Thunder players have embraced Oklahoma City as their home. They are involved in the community, especially with children and charities. It warms my heart each and every time I learn of something new they are doing to help out.   They are good people with exceptional talents and huge hearts.

Thunder up baby!

Creative Hiatus

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Five ToesIt’s been two weeks since I have written anything. It’s not that I didn’t try; I just could not make the thoughts in my head make sense on paper.   I’m calling it a creative hiatus. But this morning as I was taking my long power walk through Regional Park, I could feel some of the fog lifting in my head and felt a little creativity creeping back in. For me, writing is therapy. Blogging has been the perfect outlet for this. Sometimes what I write even get’s read and that’s fun too.   The way this works for me is that thoughts just pop in my mind. This usually happens when I’m doing something, after I have done something or seen someone else do something. The little tape recorder in my head begins to record it and I feel this need to write it down. Once I write it down I feel better and can move on. See, therapy.   Many times it allows me to see something in a different light or it gives me a better clarity over a situation.   Sometimes it’s just something that has struck me as funny or interesting.

So why has my creativity been on hiatus? Several things have gone on around me the last few weeks that have really affected my state of mind. First off, I have this thing going on at work. Of course it is a “personnel” matter so I cannot give any details. But let me just tell you this, I wish I could. Anyway, this situation has many in my community in an uproar and it has caused me some real heartache. Common sense and logic have just been thrown out the window. I love my community and I want what is best for it always. This situation is a no win situation any way it goes.   Only time will tell what the damage from this truly will be.

Secondly, a little over a week ago a dear friend of mine’s son committed suicide. He was 23, my son is 25.   As a mother, the empathy here is HUGE! You put yourself in their shoes and it’s just more than you can bear. As my son and I left the funeral last Saturday and I was weeping almost uncontrollably, my son put his arms around me and I just looked into his eyes and said, “Promise me.” He knew what I meant and said, “I promise, mom”. The death of a child in any situation is a tragedy, but for me, I would think that having your child commit suicide would be on a completely different level of pain. My heart breaks for what my friend and her family are going through. I pray every day that God will be with her and her family to help them get through this. I kept sitting down at the computer last weekend trying to write something, but I could not stop crying. I finally just gave up and knew that my mind couldn’t do it.

Yesterday was my 6 year wedding anniversary and we went to our Two Left Feet dance. It was the scheduled spring event and it just happened to be on our anniversary. We got to have a party with a band and food and only had to pay for ourselves. Pretty sweet huh? It was fun remembering that six years ago at 8:30 p.m., at the place we were dancing last night, we were also dancing at our wedding reception. Sometime during the evening Keith looked and me and said, “Ok, what are you thinking. What’s going on in your head”? I hadn’t realized it but I had let my mind drift back off into the fog it’s been in for weeks. Here I was dancing with my amazing husband, celebrating our anniversary and I had let the actions of others seep into my happy space.  Not OK.

So this morning I put on my walking shoes and headed for the park. I needed to gain a little clarity and get out of my funk. After 4.2 miles this what I have committed to doing.

  1.  I will continue to pray for my friend.
  2. For that other issue at work, I will just continue to do what I know is right. I can’t control the actions of others.
  3. Accept that logic and common sense don’t always apply in every situation.

Have a wonderful Easter, I plan to.

Observations

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Bluebonnet 2Keith and I had to make a quick trip to Austin and back this weekend. His dad, a World War II veteran, has been selected to go on the Honor Flight, which takes WWII vets to Washington DC to show them their memorial, along with other military memorials. It is quite an honor and is a wonderful thing for these men who have given so much to this country. Keith is getting to go with his 93 year old dad as his guardian so off to Austin we go for a Saturday morning orientation.

Austin, Texas is about five hours away and any trip in the car for that long gives my mind the opportunity to wonder, think, ponder and observe. So here are some of my observations.

Observation #1: The traffic from Fort Worth to Austin is TERRIBLE. In addition to the traffic, there always seems to be road construction. So you are whipping along at 75 mph, then you are slowed to 60, then to 70 then to 65 then to 75. Kind of like a roller coaster. Then there are the concrete barriers on both sides of the road you must maneuver through.   When traveling through those areas on the highway with concrete barriers, it always seems that right next to you is an 18 wheeler. As you work your way through, praying to get through, you are wondering, is there really enough room between these two concrete barriers for me and this 18 wheeler? Apparently there is, but I’m holding my breath each time.

Observation #2: Bluebonnets are beautiful! From about Ft Worth all the way to Austin and all around are the most beautiful bluebonnets. It is that time of year when they are blooming and they were standing tall and were spectacular. They always make me smile when I see them. Some of them were so thick and covered so much area that it looked like a beautiful blue blanket. The site of them made me want to go and lay down in the middle of them. Still smiling thinking about them.

Observation #3: Need for Speed. Keith and I usually trade off driving when we go longer distances. So it’s my turn and we are just south of Ft Worth heading down the 75 mph stretch of I-35 which is awesome. I can drive 75 and not feel guilty. As I’m driving along, a Texas highway patrolman passes me doing about 80. I noted to the Keith that Mr. Patrolman was not doing the speed limit. Ha Ha Ha, are they ever? We moved on for another few minutes when I noticed something in my rearview mirror. It was a car coming very fast up my right side doing WAY MORE than 75. I said to Keith, get ready for what’s about to come up on your right. At just that moment a little Mercedes doing about 90-95 zoomed pasted us and before we could say anything there was a Jaguar chasing it. It literally looked like they were seeing who could get to Austin first. They were zipping in and out of cars like a NASCAR race. About that time it dawned on me, if they aren’t careful, they are going to whip right around Mr. Highway Patrol Man, who I could still see ahead of me. Pretty soon around the bend we saw flashing lights and I thought, could it be???? The answer is nope, it was some Ford F150. I don’t know what happened to Mr. Mercedes and Mr. Jaguar, but I’m sure they got to Austin before we did and apparently with no speeding ticket.

Observation #4: What is taking so long? We finally arrived at our hotel in Austin and we were pooped. It’s late, we were tired and we really need to find a restroom. But we need to get checked in. I have never seen two people working the check in counter at a hotel move any slower. Really it’s true. I thought for a moment we might have been on Candid Camera or 20/20. They would start to work on getting us checked in and then they would stop and chat, or someone would come by with a question. All the time, I could see the lines forming between Keith’s brow, which I know means, “I am about to lose my patience.” I offered to stand there while the two hotel staff members chit chatted so he could find the restroom, but he insisted it shouldn’t take much longer. Well it did take longer and again, I offered. This time my normally very patient husband, furrowed his brow even further and said, with a slightly elevated and stern voice, “I’m sure it won’t take much longer, will it?” The clerk popped to attention and said, “No sir, not much longer”.

Observation #5: Getting out of your routine. I have heard it said that it is good to shake up your routine sometimes. Get out of your comfort zone. Live a little. Well all this may be good and I agree to a point. But, if you are a caffeine junky like I am and CANNOT function in the morning unless you have sat quietly for 30 minutes and sipped your hot cup of coffee, then I wouldn’t suggest changing your routine. Changed mine yesterday, paid for it all day…..Waiting a couple of hours to get that first cup of coffee, not good.

Observation #6: Sure are a bunch of old people here. Let me tell you, my 90 year old mother-in-law is a hoot and sharp as a tack. While we were sitting through the orientation ceremony Saturday morning for the Honor Flight for 120 World War II veterans, she leaned over and said, “There sure are a bunch of old people here.” You think?   She is a doll.

Observation #7: Siri knows Austin. Keith decided he needed new running shoes and he selected several stores in Austin that specialized in running shoes for us to visit. Neither of us knew how to get around in Austin so we put the address in our IPhone and Siri mapped us out the route we needed to take to visit store #1, which was the store Keith really wanted to shop in. Siri took us right into the trendy section of Austin along the river with apartments, condos, restaurants, running trails, and dog parks. Everywhere we looked people had on workout clothes and were walking or running. There were lots of people walking dogs and I loved it when we passed a dog park full of people and dogs. It was so much fun to see this in a community. We finally made it to Keith’s running shoe store and guess what, it was closed for inventory. Siri, to the rescue. On to store #2.

Observation #8: Furniture shopping, the good and the bad. Keith and I will need a few new furniture items when our new home is finished. We have looked at furniture in Ardmore, have made two trips to Mathis Bros in OKC and several other places in OKC. I find something I like, he’s not crazy about it. He finds something he likes, I’m not crazy about it. It has been oddly stressful. So we are driving back to Oklahoma and on the north end of Austin on I-35 there is an Ashley Furniture Home Store. We decided to walk through, what could it hurt. OMG. They had everything we needed AND Keith and I were in agreement. Had Hell just frozen over, what was happening?   Well I’ll tell you what was happening, we were 5 hours away from home and this store doesn’t deliver that far. Our hearts sunk, until we found out that there are at least three of these stores in the Dallas area, which probably will deliver. Our quest for furniture continues….

Observation #9: I need a little down time. Got up this fabulous Sunday morning to rain and an enormous amount of laundry to be done, along with my deceased father’s tax return looming over my head and reading assignments for my EFM class. But I knew that before I could tackle anything, COFFEE WAS NEEDED. In fact, I had 2 big cups of coffee while I sat motionless in the recliner with both dogs in my lap watching a couple of items recorded on the DVR. Still not much energy, so Keith went off to church without me. But I have slowly been moving forward and have accomplished several things, it has been very quiet and my two adorable dogs have provided me with many opportunities to scratch their bellies and rub their necks. Truly therapeutic and just what I have needed.

Observation #10. I need another day off, but work will be calling tomorrow. Back to the craziness.

Slick Willies

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Mountain Storm BrewingWe all have people in our lives that I will refer to as “slick willies”. Nothing sticks to them. These are people that will NEVER and I mean NEVER take responsibility for their actions. Whether it is at work, at church, at social functions, your family or within your inner circle of friends, there’s always one or two of them lurking around. Whenever you call their hand on something, it is never their fault. They deflect the blame to anyone other than themselves. The more they get by with, the more proficient they become. It is almost like a game or better yet, it is in their job descriptions or just their standard operating procedure.

Sometimes these people are people in your community who should be highly respected or may have positions of leadership so when they pull out their “Slick Willie act,” it really can be a blow to your psyche. If you have these people at your workplace, they are the ones who will not adhere to deadlines, won’t follow instructions and they don’t care if your job is on the line because of what they refuse to do. And when you try to have a conversation with them about it, they just put on their raincoat so whatever you say will slide off and not penetrate and the game continues.

Ok, I feel better and I’m moving on.

Stay At Home Moms – Hardest Job in the World

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Water Trees

I have just returned from spending four full days of witnessing the hardest job in the world, that of a stay-at-home mom.  I have always wondered what it would have been like if I could have stayed home and taken care of my kids as they grew up, instead of sending them to day care while I worked a full-time job.  My circumstances never afforded me that opportunity, but yet I have always dreamed of it.  I’m thinking now that maybe God knew what he was doing when that was not an opportunity for me.  I am pretty sure that during that time of my life, it would have been a disaster.

My daughter and her husband have made the decision for my daughter to be a stay at home mom.  She loves it 95% of the time and that is what she wants to do.  Well let me tell you, I am exhausted just watching the activities in that house for the last four days.  First off, a stay at home mom IS NEVER OFF THE CLOCK.  From before the first child opens their eyes in the morning until the last dish is put in the dishwasher well after they have gone to bed, she is NEVER off duty.  Now some might say that a mother working outside the home has it just as hard and I would agree, but it’s a different kind of hard.  I was one of those mothers working outside the home.  I still had to come home and cook dinner, wash clothes, clean the house, bathe kids and get them to bed every night, in addition to working a full-time job.  I remember being stressed about it because I had NO help, just me, all me, all the time.  Let me be clear, BOTH circumstances are difficult and we all just do the best we can because we love our children more than life itself and they are our priorities for many years.

In looking at my experience and my daughter’s experience, the main difference I see immediately is that while I was at work for 8 hours, I got to talk to other adults.  My daughter does not, unless she calls me on the phone or gets a call from her husband.  While I was not at home, the house did not get any dirtier, no additional dishes got dirty and the same clothes that were dirty when I left the house that morning would still be dirty when I got home.  My weekends were when I “tried” to get caught up.  At my daughter’s house, you cannot keep up with the dishes.  By the time you get the breakfast dishes done, it’s time for lunch, and then before you know it, it’s time for dinner.  Toys are played with all day all over the house.  By the time you get some of the things back where they belong, they start pulling it all out again.  Sometimes she just waits until the end of the day when she can just do it one time, but that leaves her house looking like a bomb went off all day, which she doesn’t like.    My conversations at work could be, what did you do this weekend, did you see that movie Friday night, and what do you think about this or that.  Every conversation my daughter has throughout the day is trying to get children to eat, be quiet, pick up their things, play nicely, quit running, quit yelling,  let’s change your diaper, do you need to pee, where are your clothes, did you brush your teeth, let’s get dressed, let’s take a bath, let’s read a book, why are you crying …..  So I know when she calls me while I’m at work during the day, I know she is just needing to hear the sound of a friendly voice and the voice of another adult.

On a good day she tries to be showered and ready to go by the time they get up.  Now what I mean by a good day would be if she has had maybe 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep where she can physically crawl out of bed and make it to the shower.  Most days I think she would think she had died and gone to heaven if she was to get 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep, let alone 7 or God forbid 8.   You know what happens to a stay at home mom when she does not get enough sleep?  One of her eyes twitches for days, her eyes are hollow and have dark circles under them, her eyes have no spark, she has less patience and many days are ended with a pretty significant headache.  I do not know how she functions in such a sleep deprivation mode.  The four days I was there, she was like a walking zombie, but she just chugs right along.  She is a trooper.  She is literally, SUPER MOM.

Bedtime is a very difficult process.  Molly goes down most nights without a hitch.  She is the second child and most of us have learned what to do and what not to do by this point.  My daughter is no exception.  Molly is gathered up with all her blankets, sleeping buddies, she waves goodbye, gives goodnight kisses and to bed she goes.   Miracle child.  Then there’s Max, the first child.  Max is almost 5 ½ and will not go to bed without a major conflict.  I notice that about an hour before bedtime it is as if he has been wound up like a toy doll and is just bouncing off the walls.  He knows bed time is coming and he doesn’t want any part of it.  He is so tired by bedtime that he is uncontrollable with many emotions that come into play.  All children go through the process of not wanting to go to bed; my son was the same when he was Max’s age and they do finally grow out of it, thanks be to God.  If I had a dollar for every time Max got out of bed while I was there, I probably could have paid for my airline ticket out there.  Now you can play his game and keep sending him back to bed, which is done with lots of tears and sometimes loud outbursts, which now become a problem because you don’t want him to wake Molly.   So if you are as tired as my daughter usually is and on the brink of physical collapse, after about the tenth time he has gotten out of bed, you just give in and go lay in his bed with him until he falls asleep, which is just what he wants.  Game, set, and match goes to Max.

So here’s to my daughter and all stay-at-home moms out there, you are all awesome!  You are doing an amazing job and you all have more courage and tenacity than I ever had.  To my daughter, you are an amazing mom, an inspiration to me and I’m very proud of you.  Hang in there, it will get better.

Coincidences?

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Venice at WorkDo you ever notice things from time to time that make you just go, hmmmm?  I refer to them as little coincidences, but are they?  Yesterday morning I left my house headed to work when a blue and red Pauls Valley Panther’s school bus crossed in front of me.  At lunch time I decided to head home for a quick bite and low and behold, that bus crossed in front of me again.  Seeing that made me think about all the other times within my day or week odd coincidences occur.  For instance, I have a little red 2007 Honda Accord 2 door coupe.  I travel to and from work on the same road every day at varying times during the day.  Yet, I always seem to cross paths with another little red 2007 Honda Accord 2 door coupe.  I know it’s the same car, because I have seen it so often I recognize the driver.  I never see that car anywhere else.  When I see it, I look at the time in my car and it is never the same time on any given day.  Wonder if the driver in the other Honda notices me too?

Sometimes there are people in my community that I never need or want to run into.  But guess what, I always do.  Is this just a coincidence or God’s way of telling me to put on my big girl panties and get over myself.  [Probably the latter.]

There’s this creepy guy that came to my office a few years ago and read me the riot act over something I had nothing to do with.  I just happened to be the person he got to talk to when he came to my building.   It really scared me.  Well would you believe that I see him around town all the time now?  And every time I see him, I am reminded of what is lurking under his little small-man frame, much anger.  Thank God he doesn’t recognize me.

Sometimes I like to send my husband cute little text messages.  I can’t tell you how many times I have been in the middle of composing one of them when he calls me.  Spooky and a bit unnerving at times.

I usually listen to Oprah on the radio as I am driving to work, back and forth at lunch or home from work.  And I kid you not, the show I hear at 7:40 a.m., plays while I’m at lunch and when I’m driving home.  In the exact spot where I leave off each time.  Bizarre. 

Numbers and dates are another thing I notice a lot.  Some number have meaning to me.  For instance; when 409 Cleaner came out, I thought that was cool.  The house number of the house I grew up in was 409.  The last four numbers of my social security card are the same as Keith’s, just in a different order.  My kid’s and I have always been drawn to the #2, I see it everywhere.  When it happens when I’m with my kids, we just look at each other and smile.      

What about the time Keith and I took a little trip to California?  We took a week and visited Napa, San Francisco and the Monterrey area.  We stopped in at Carmel by the Sea and were just walking through shops.  In the background I heard someone say “Keith”.  We kept walking.  Then again a little louder, “KEITH”.  We turned and OMG, it was Keith’s boss, his wife and another couple from Ardmore.  How did that happen?

I think my oddest little coincidence happened back in 1986.  I was living in Clovis, New Mexico and my daughter was four.  She and I traveled to Ardmore to spend a week with my parents.  My parents thought it would be fun if we took my daughter to Six Flags before we went back to New Mexico.  So we drove back down to Arlington to take in a day of fun at Six Flags.  We pulled into the park, followed all the cars around and parked.  We opened the door to get out and the car next to us opened their door to get out.  As I got out and they got out our eyes met.  For a split second it was no big deal, then we both did a double take.  It was my next door neighbors from Clovis, New Mexico!   

Over the past several years I have been more aware of those cute little things that occur that I can’t explain.   Are they coincidences, karma, kismet, cosmic happenings, or God just having a little fun with me.  Whatever they are, I enjoy them and most of the time, they actually make me smile.  Do you notice little coincidences too?

We are Camping, Kind of

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DSC_0875After my father passed away last August, we decided it was time to sell our house and build our dream home.  We had been living in a small, but comfortable little ranch-style house right next door to my parents since 2007.  My husband bought the house and moved in a year before we got married.  His reason:  to be near my parents so we can help them.  Awe, made me love him all the more.  We told ourselves that we would stay in our little ranch house as long as my parents needed us.  Both of my parents are now gone and it was time for us to step out and move on.  Start that new chapter in our life.

I had been lusting after a lot about ¾ of a mile from where we currently live, but it belonged to someone else (my former boss).  She and her husband had purchased it years before with the intent to build a home.  Things happened in her life and her plans had to change.  Five years later she contacts me and offers us the lot at a great price.  We are in business now!!!  We had a house plan we loved and after a little research, determined it would fit on the lot.  A match made in heaven.  We started the process in October and each day that passes is a day closer we are to moving in.  But if you have ever built a home, you know that patience is more than a virtue, it is mandatory.

We were very fortunate that our house sold in about two months.  Yea we won’t have to have two mortgages.  But that does mean that we will be moving twice (bummer).  We still own my parent’s home next door so we moved in about 6 weeks ago and we tell each other that we are “camping”.  Well I don’t mind camping, but I really don’t want to do it more than about a week and a week would be pushing it.  We are surrounded by boxes and walking paths through the boxes.  One of the bedrooms is nothing but boxes and just a little path to the closet that houses my clothes.  I know where nothing is and can find nothing when I need it.  Even the stuff I kept out so I would know where it is eludes me.

We kept out a few cooking utensils too, but I’m telling you, my mother’s kitchen is a disaster.  I don’t know how she cooked all those delicious meals in it.  First off, I can’t seem to turn the correct burner on.  Yesterday I’m waiting for a burner to heat up when I realized I had the wrong burner on and was smoking up the kitchen.  It was a miracle that the smoke alarms did not go off.  Now I’m wondering why they didn’t go off.  Hmmm, may be something that needs to be checked.  Then there is the issue of its size, too small.  No storage and no counter space.   And the absolute worst part, NO DISHWASHER.  Yes you heard me, NO DISHWASHER.    I don’t like to do dishes and the hubs doesn’t like to do dishes.  I think we wait each other out to see who gives in first.  The sinks in this 1955 house are smaller than sinks today.  They can hold about 4 cereal bowls at a time and if you actually cook a meal, you are washing dishes and drying dishes and putting up dishes for about 45 minutes.  Did I mention that I hate washing dishes?

Then there’s the bathroom.  Yes, ONE bathroom.  One sink, one toilette, one tub/shower combination.  The hubs and I do quite the dance in the morning trying to get ready.  Invariably I want to brush my teeth and that same time he wants to brush his teeth, or I need to dry my hair when he needs to dry his hair, or I need to put hairspray in my hair and he can’t handle my hair spray.  Of course, there’s the whole issue of one toilette, need I say more. If I take a little longer in the shower, and I usually do, sometimes he runs out of hot water when he showers.  Oops, my bad.  Sometimes he decides to come in and shave while I’m in the shower.  Then I have no hot water.  Oops, his bad.

It is funny how you get used to the simple luxuries, so when you are without them, it is very hard.  Our patience runs thin some days and we just have to keep reminding ourselves and each other, this too shall pass.  When we can go over to the new house and see progress, it makes it easier.  Even though I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel yet and I don’t know how much longer we will be camping, it is exciting to think about the start of a new chapter in our lives.  So I guess I need to just put on my “big girl” panties and get over myself.

Can You See the Bigger Picture?

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Winter in Regional Park 2This is hard for some people and I am no exception.  I have learned the hard way how to do a better job of this.  I have had my job for 17+ years and I love my job [95% of the time].  I think that’s a good percentage.  Not everyone can say that about their jobs.  I have been blessed with great bosses and co-workers.  We become more like a team or family, if you will.

My issues usually come into play when I get too emotionally involved in something.  It tends to cloud my judgment.  I can no longer see the big picture, just the one picture playing over and over in my mind.  I take things too personally.  Now we all want to be emotionally involved with our jobs don’t we?  What kind of employee’s would we be if we didn’t FEEL things, care deeply about things and strive to make things better?  Well I can tell you what kind of employee we would be, but that would be a topic for another day.  However, there is a fine line that I have learned to walk here.  Yes I am passionate about my job.  You could say that part of what I do every day is my “passion”.  It’s what Oprah tells us we need to be doing, “find your passion”.  I’m almost there.  I’m working at it every day and on those days that I’m focused on it, it is fantastic!

What I have learned is to look at the bigger picture, learn to play the game even.  There are lots of things that I have NO control over.  Actually MOST things I have no control over.  Sometimes my employment takes me in a direction I don’t want to go, but may be better in the long run or maybe not.  Not my call.  Sometimes I get a new boss before I’m ready for the old one to leave.  This has happened to me three times and I know when the one I have now moves on, I’ll feel the same way.  You get emotionally attached to these people you work with every day, you work hard for them, you want them to look good, you want your employer to look good.  You ask yourself, what can I do to make that happen?  Well what I can do is look at the bigger picture and play the game.

What I have noticed over the last several years is that I am a much better member of the team when I can keep the bigger picture in mind.  When I have tunnel vision, it’s not a good thing.   When I feel myself getting wound up over something, I have to take a step back and think.  I ask myself, what is the bigger picture here, how should I response and more importantly, how should I NOT respond.  If at any time my response to a situation can make not only my employer look bad or worse, make me look bad, I don’t need to go down that road.  Take a step back, take a deep breath, stick that chin out and look at the bigger picture.