They Are Coming!

Max & Molly Easter 2014This time next weekend I will be in Mimi mode.  Yes, the Milligans are coming.  My daughter, the two kids and one of the three grandpugs are coming.  They have not been here since last July and I haven’t seen them since March.  Most of the time I handle them living 6 hours away ok and sometimes I don’t.  But when I have gone this long without seeing them, I’m basically white knuckling it.  The other grandparents retired and moved to within an hour of them.  That is wonderful for them and I’m glad that provides them with some family close in case they are needed.  I can’t pack up my life and move there but it is so hard not getting to be a part of their daily lives.

For me it goes much deeper than just not seeing the grandkids, sure I miss them, but I really miss my daughter.  For the bigger part of the last 8 years, she has lived 6 hours away from me.  They thought her husband was getting a job back in OKC so she and Max moved back to Oklahoma for 10 months when Max was very young.  We were only 1 hour and 40 minutes apart.  I can still remember the day she called me to tell me they were moving back to OKC.  It was right after my mother had died and I just sat down and cried with joy when we hung up the phone.  So for 10 months, I got to see her about every 2 weeks.  But alas, her husband’s job never followed through so they went back to Arkansas.  It was the right move for their little family, but it was a horrible event for me.  Yesterday Keith and I were in OKC and we went to a store that took us right by the entrance to my daughter’s old neighborhood, I could feel the tears well up in my eyes as I remembered that 10 months and then how much I miss her.  I guess I know how my mother felt for the 8 years I lived six hours away in New Mexico.

Technology has helped the distance between us.  We usually talk on the phone every day, some days multiple times a day.  Lots of text messages, many with pics of what the kids or grandpugs are up to.  There is facetime, because when Molly wants to call Mimi, she really means “see Mimi.”  I love it when I get a random call from Max when his mother doesn’t know he has called me.  Sometimes he will facetime me and he is walking all over the house talking to me, makes me a little nauseous.

Max and I have a special relationship.  When it is just the two of us, we have great conversations.  He can be so mature.  We talk about everything.  He also knows that I’m the grandma who doesn’t put up with much crap or antics.  He will test me, but 95% of the time, we are just fine.  I have learned with him that presentation of something is most of the battle.  If I’m drama free, he is usually drama free.  Then there’s little Miss Molly, the granddaughter I’ve been waiting for.  I don’t know her as well as Max and that’s hard.  I hope that she knows how much I love her and want so much to be around to get our toes done, pick out cute clothes and have long talks about nothing, just like I used to do with her mom.

And speaking of her mom, well where do I begin.  Words can’t really describe how I feel about her.  My heart aches for her, but I guess that’s normal when they grow up and move away.  We have always had a very special relationship.  For many years, she was really my only friend, the one person I knew I could count on.  That is probably not the role a little girl should play, but I knew I could get through the day just because of her. I was not alone in the world because I had her and for many years, she was all that mattered.  When I go visit her, we never seem to have enough time, but we make the best of it.  When she comes here. it’s never long enough.  It takes me days to recover after I have seen them because I never know when the next time will be.  Wow, this week’s blog is a bit of a downer, sorry.

So let me see if I can pull out of this mood I’m in  and move on.  I am excited, elated and can’t wait because:  THEY ARE COMING!

Eleven Days – No Cable!

Ocean

When you are building a new home, sometimes you get so bogged down in the house itself, you forget other necessities. Cable is one of those necessities for me. Not only does cable afford me the opportunity to watch all my favorite shows, but it also provides me with the INTERNET! And who can survive without the internet these days? Certainly not me. Of course I have the internet on my phone, but who can see and do what you need to do on that little tiny screen? My 54 year old eyes don’t like my little bitty screen on my iPhone. I am ready for the iPhone to get bigger, but that is a whole other blog.

Another one of those necessities we needed and didn’t get until after the house was completed was gas. Yes, it’s good to have gas when you cook with gas, heat with gas and need hot water. That put us a week late in moving in because our gas company was, oh how do I put this, impossible to reach by phone and did not return calls. That would be the polite way to put it. Then there’s the cable company, who don’t want to come and lay their line until the gas company is done and the sprinkler guys are done. GEEZ! So on June 28 we officially moved in. We have gas, but we still have no cable. Cable isn’t happening until July 8! Apparently, I just need to get over it.

For the first couple of days, we were so busy moving furniture and boxes that the cable was not in the forefront of our minds. By the end of each day, I could not have watched TV if my life depended on it and I certainly could not have gotten to the computer in Keith’s office because his office was still piled high with boxes. I’m not even sure we knew where the computer was.

So what do you do all day and night when you have no cable? For one thing, I was able to unpack all my stuff and get VERY organized; until you ask me where something is. I might be able to tell you where I think I put it and I might not. Keith has really been testing me here: where is the … or where did you put the … So far, I think I’m doing pretty good in the remembering category. However, we do have a few favorite shows that I am missing. One of my favorites right now is Devious Maids on Lifetime. It is almost the end of the season and it is getting really good and I’m not getting to see it.  I’ve missed the last two episodes. My daughter called me the first Monday we were in the house to ask me what I thought about the previous night’s episode, because it was REALLY GOOD. I could hear her scream all the way from Arkansas when I told her I did not have cable yet. When she called me this past Monday, I told her I needed her to fill me in again because still no cable. We really love the “24” series which is also getting close to the end too. Keith has gone to his office the past two Monday night’s to watch it there. I’m white knuckling it.

It’s funny how you get so used to something and then when it’s gone, you really are at a loss as to what to do. I have tried to take it all in stride. I cannot ever remember a time in my life when I was without cable TV. As long as I kept busy, I did OK. It wasn’t until I thought I needed to sit down for a break or in the evening when I needed some down time I found myself yearning for TV.

After I got my office organized, I found a book I had bought that I had been wanting to read. Yes an actual hard back 600 page book! Now is the perfect opportunity to do that. Also, one of my favorite authors has finally released their latest book. It was supposed to be downloaded automatically onto my Kindle on July 1. Oops, no internet with WiFi, no downloaded book. I had to use a little strategy there. Drove out to Starbucks, sat in their parking lot, used their free WiFi and downloaded my book. Wooohooo. I now have two books to read.

In anticipation of the cable company coming this week, Keith got all the TV’s in the house set up and also set up the surround sound system in the great room. He ran to Hastings and rented us a few movies to test it all out. We are all set, now we just need cable. So it’s Tuesday morning, July 8, and we are patiently waiting for that phone call from the cable company. You know, the one that gives you a ten minute warning that they are coming to your house because you have to drop everything at work and go to the house. Keith had a very important meeting at work that morning and would not be able to take a call so I have his phone until he gets out of the meeting. Can you believe that? We are so in need of cable we have scheduled our lives around it. I even took the phone with me to the restroom at work so I wouldn’t miss a call. It has gone with me to other offices in the building and to the mail room.

Well it’s 10:30 and I’m passing Keith’s phone back to him.  Tag he’s it, waiting for the cable guy.  Tick tock….tick tock….tick tock….It is now 3 p.m., and I get a text from Keith.  “Haven’t heard from the cable guy yet”….  I NEED to watch some TV tonight so I just picked up the phone and called customer service.  Had to verify who I was by giving them the last four numbers of Keith’s social security number before they would talk to me and had to sign over my left kidney [kidding about the kidney part].  Finally got to talk to someone and she assured me we were on the schedule and they had until 5 p.m., to show up at my house.  Interestingly enough, not 15 minutes later, Keith get’s “the call” that they are on their way to to our home.  Coincidence?  I don’t know.  Squeaky wheel you know.

So I am happy to report that when I got home from work, we had cable.  I cooked dinner while the tv was on, cleaned the kitchen while the TV was on and plopped down at around 8 to watch some of my favorite shows.  Got good and comfortable on the couch and tuned in to some great repeats of the Big Bang Theory.  That Leonard and Sheldon can always make me smile.  Next think I know Keith is waking me at 10 and asking me if I’m coming to bed.  Hmmmm. I had forgotten how well I can sleep in front of the TV too.

The Wal-Mart Experience

I have been to my local Wal-Mart too many times in the last two weeks. We are in the back end of moving and I keep needing things, so it’s off to Wal-Mart. First off let me say, if you are in a hurry, don’t go to Wal-Mart. So here’s my experience when I’m in a hurry.

1. Park a mile away from the entrance because it appears to be pay day and everyone in my county is shopping today.
2. Grab a buggy, which of course has wheels that don’t all turn the right direction, it shakes like it has a vibrator attached and it is making a terrible noise.

Got my buggy, off I go. I have my list and know where I need to go in the store. Straight in front of me 10 yards out is roadblock #1. A group of people have taken the opportunity to get caught up an do a little visiting. It doesn’t really matter that people are stacked up all around them. So the 5 or 6 of us that need to get through have to find an alternate route. That’s always fun.

Back on the main isle heading for the isle I need. There it is just a few feet away, I’m turning onto the isle and there’s roadblock #2. This isle has 6 shopping carts already on it, but only 4 owners of carts. The other 2 carts, just blocking traffic don’t you know. Well I need things on this isle, so I turn in and wade through the muck with everyone else and work my way around the abandoned carts.

If you listen while you are shopping, count how many babies or toddlers you hear crying. As a mother, I’m real good at telling which crying children are pissed, which are tired, which are hungry, which are hurt, which are just brats. Can you? When you finally reach the crying child, sometimes they are blessed with parents who have no business being parents. As you go by them you can see the little looks in their eyes and the big tears they are trying to not let fall and a parent yelling at them for God knows what. Some of them are visibly frightened and it kills me that I can’t help them. I just want to grab those people and give them a good shake, among other things. What are they thinking, they are molding their little minds forever. Moving on……

Have you ever noticed that the isles are not quite wide enough? When I visit my daughter in Little Rock, her Wal-Mart seems to have wider isles than mine. It just seems roomier. Is it a conspiracy?  Is it because her Wal-Mart is in Arkansas, the “home” of Wal-Mart?   They also have a guy who greets you with a “BAM” at their Wal-Mart. Frightened me the first time I visited, but now I look for him and so do my grandkids. His name is Mr. Willie and he is an attraction all on his own.

I am always amazed at the different ways people dress. I am trying to say this diplomatically but not sure I can. Bottom line, if you weigh way more than you should, whether you can help it or not, you should not wear clothing that highlights the “extra” things you have, especially when those things are hanging over your pants, riding up your crotch or falling out of your blouse. Some things should be left to the imagination, PLEASE.

I have also noticed that we have a whole generation of people who like tattoos. Your business, do whatever you want with your skin, but really, if your entire body is covered in these “works of art”, wonder what they will look like when they are my age or better yet, in their 80’s or 90’s? Be a different kind of tattoo for sure. Two different images for the price of one I guess.

I also just love it when I am waiting in line to check out with young ladies standing behind me who have piercings all over their face: nose (OMG, the snot factor alone here), cheeks, eyebrows, TONGUE (really?) It freaks me out. I am imagining what my mother would have said to me if I had said to her that I wanted to get my TONGUE pierced or get a cute little diamond stud in my nose. Or hey, let’s get those big discs in my ear lobes… Yea, let’s do that…

Then there is the awesome checkout line, waiting and waiting. Lately I have taken a different approach to this. I can’t imagine standing on my feet all day ringing people up, sacking their items and then doing it again and again and again for hours. As much as I hate waiting in line, I feel for those employees who have to deal with all of us people in line, all day, every day. I try to be a little kinder to them when I finally reach the register. They are after all, just trying to do their jobs.

So bottom line for me, go to Wal-Mart when I have to, take a deep breath when I walk in the door, and just do it. Life is an adventure and a trip to Wal-Mart is no different.  Sometimes, it’s entertainment on a Saturday night.

20140704-152207-55327343.jpg

A New Chapter is Before Me

20140627-153505-56105845.jpgThere are times in one’s life that deserve a little reflection. I am on the cusp of closing a chapter in my life and starting a new one, which is so exciting and yet I get emotional if I think about it too long. In order to close this chapter, I have to let go of some things.

Keith and I started out our married life together living next door to my mom and dad. In fact, it was Keith’s idea to purchase the house next door to my parents before he ever proposed marriage to me. When it came available, he said, “I should buy that house.” My response, “Would you want to live right next door to your in-laws?” As an only child, he knew that their care as they grew older would fall to me and to him as well. He knew living right next door to them would offer them a sense of security. If I didn’t already know he was the perfect man for me that certainly cinched it.

In 2008 Keith and I got married and my mom’s Parkinson’s was so bad that she almost couldn’t make it to our wedding, but she was a trooper and she got there. Mom passed away in 2009 and we took on the challenge of caring for my dad, who passed away this past August. Since that time I have been going through all their stuff and trying to settle their estate. They didn’t have much, but my mother had thrown nothing away. And I mean nothing. She had become quite the pack rat over the past 10-15 years. Once I got beyond magazines that were 10 years old and paper clippings from those magazines, then it was time to take on the hard stuff. Stuff that when you looked at it, it came with a corresponding memory. Those things brought up very raw emotions. I’d cry, and then I’d go home too emotionally drained to continue that day. Next day I’d go back start in again. Do I keep this, do I keep that. Guilt about throwing anything away was eating me alive. These were their things after all. How could it even occur to me to not keep everything? But where would I keep everything and better yet, I don’t want everything.

I hired a guy to come in and take care of their things and do an estate sale, only to be told weeks later that they really didn’t have enough that would be worth his time. He could have told me that at the beginning. Now here I am again tasked with the mountain of stuff. I just sat down and cried. I didn’t think I could do it. Then a friend recommended someone else that would come in and take care of “everything”. Well weeks later and an estate sale later, it still wasn’t taken care of and here I was again… It was time to put on my big girl panties and just do it.

With the closing of their estate, they left me a little money, which has allowed us to move forward with building our dream home and start the official new chapter in our life as a married couple. My mom would be so excited for us and I know they are smiling at us, but it comes with very mixed emotions for me. For the last six months, we have been living in their home. Our home sold in record time and we moved next door into their house, which is full of memories for me. At first it was comforting. I could feel them in every room and I had memories of so many events there. I could remember conversations and laughter and tears. Now as I prepare to close this chapter and move out, it again is bringing up very raw emotions. I feel like I am leaving them all over again. When we move out and I sell the house to someone else, that chapter is officially closed. I have always thought of myself as a strong woman, but this past year I have truly felt like nothing but a crybaby.

We have been moving a few things over to the new house a little bit at a time. So last weekend I became reacquainted with some of my “things” that have been in a box for the last six months. As I opened the boxes and carefully removed items wrapped in bubble wrap, there were some of the items I had chosen to keep that reminded me of my parents. OMG! An immediate smile came over me, followed by tears and then a determination to find the perfect spot for these items in our new home. So in a sense, I am taking them with me on this new journey.

So in the next few days, I am going to pick myself up and get started full force on this new chapter with a man that deserves my full attention. Yes, with the man that has been there for me every day for the past ten years. The man that has wiped my tears and hugged me tight through painful and joyous times. The man that holds my hand every day as we walk through this life together. Yes, a new chapter. OUR chapter. It’s time.

My First Father’s Day Without Him

DaddyToday is Father’s Day and it marks the first Father’s Day without my dad. It also reminds me that I have now lost both of my parents and at a much younger age than I had expected. As an only child, this past 10 months since my dad’s passing has been difficult. When my mom died four years ago, I really didn’t go through very much of the grieving process, I had to pick up the pieces and take care of my dad. That’s what I promised my mom in her final hours of life that she didn’t need to worry about daddy, I would take care of him. I really had no idea what a job that would be, but I knew my mother well enough to know she needed to hear that, even if it was sub-consciously. Now that they are both gone, I have been grieving for the loss of both of them.

I had very different relationships with each of them. As a child, I was a daddy’s girl. My father could do no wrong and I always wanted to be with him wherever he was. I followed along behind him at work at the bowling alley for many years. He picked me up every day after school and it was off to Mac’s for a cherry icee and an Archie comic book. When I couldn’t spend the night away from home without crying, he was the one who would pick me up at 10 p.m. and bring me home. When he went to a football game, I went to a football game.  When he went to a Golden Gloves boxing match, I went to a boxing match. Sometimes, I even went fishing with him, although I always felt bad for the fish and was worried about snakes. When he took up golf, I went with him many times and drove the golf cart and I always unloaded the golf cart from the trailer when he returned home.  Of course he would let me take the olf cart for a spin around the block, with all the neighborhood kids on board. When I was in the 4th grade, he would put me on his lap and let me drive the car down the country roads on the way to my grandparents.  By the time I was in the sixth grade, he would just move over and let me drive.  The man never said no to me and he never disciplined me. He didn’t have to. All he had to do was say, “well I guess you don’t want to … the next time I go”. That always straightened me right up because I never wanted him to leave me behind. When it was time for him to come home from work, I always knew the route he took home. I would walk down to the end of the block and sit on the corner just to ride in the car with him that half a block to our house. I still remember the time I was in second grade and we had a tornado scare at school. The sirens were blowing and we all had to get in the hall and assume the position. When it was over, all the parents had to come into the school and get us. I still remember seeing him come through my classroom door and just falling apart. My hero had come to get me. In the summer, he would come pick me and my friend up at and take us to the community pool for an afternoon of swimming, he would take me and friends to Lake Murray to ride horses and he would buy me whatever I wanted, within reason. I never got a pony (ha ha ha), but I did go through two mini bikes and three cars. As a teenager, I spent most of my weekends with him at the bowling alley. I always regarded my father as a handsome man and I can remember vividly getting so upset when other women were a little too friendly and flirty with him. How dare them, don’t they know he is married and to my mom? I remember asking my mom about it once. She wasn’t worried, my dad was devoted to her.

They were great role models to have. They never fought and really never argued. I don’t know if that never happened or just not in front of me. In daddy’s much later years after mom was gone, he took great pride in that and would always say, “How many times did you ever see me and your mom argue?” Growing up with them, that is what I expected a marriage to look like. I found out pretty quickly that not all marriages looked that way and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t make mine look that way. In 1981 my dad and I were waiting to walk down the isle and he decided he needed to give me some advice. “Always keep your house neat and clean.” Really dad?

My parents were wonderful people and I had a great childhood. They were with me through a difficult divorce and subsequent difficult marriage. When I moved back to Oklahoma in 1991 a broken woman with two small children, there they were with open arms. They never asked questions, they were just there to support me. I am very grateful that they didn’t ask too many questions, because quite frankly, it was just too embarrassing to talk in depth about some of the things I had allowed to happen. You see, I didn’t want to worry them. I didn’t want them to know just how bad things were at times.   Secretly, I think they may have known.

Now my dad had three of us to spoil, me and my two children. My daughter was nine when we moved back and she slipped right into my old role with him and he loved it and she loved it. He was more of a dad to her than she had ever had and I was thrilled. My son, not quite three, got to grow up spending lots of time with his grandparents.

As my dad got older, I began to notice that some of his jokes that used to be funny to me, were just not that funny anymore. He would say things that quite frankly were terribly embarrassing and would infuriate me. Before my mom died, she said to me one day, “I’m worried about your dad. He seems to not be able to remember things very well.” My response to her was that he was fine, just stressed worrying about her. Truthfully, I think maybe she was right and he was in the early stages of dementia.

After my mom passed in 2009, I really began to see the difficulty he was having. Even though I knew this was an illness and something that he could not help, I could not accept it. Why was my dad acting this way, why was he saying these things and did I really know him at all? It’s hard when your hero is falling apart and you can’t fix it. I tried and tried. I answered the same questions over and over and over, each time getting so mad because he kept asking me the same thing. His embarrassing and hurtful comments about people he would see in restaurants got so bad that I stopped going out to eat with him. I felt bad for him, for me and I certainly didn’t want those around him to be hurt.

About two years ago, I began to notice that he was either having very vivid dreams or he was hallucinating. He would tell me that he had seen mom that she had been there in the house with him. People were also visiting him right out of the TV. He could no longer remember if he had taken his medicines or what they were for, even with home healthcare coming in. Even though I lived right next door, he let me know how lonely he was, but he would never take the initiative to do anything about it. He was just closing up in a shell. We finally talked him into moving into an assisted living and that helped for a while, but his dementia continued to spiral. His hallucinations were getting much worse and he no longer understood why my mom had left him. I would get call after call asking where his wife was. He no longer referred to her as “mom”, but his “wife”. Sometimes, I wasn’t even sure he understood who I was. I found myself being so angry every day. I was ashamed of how I felt but didn’t know what to do. I felt like I was trapped in a bubble and couldn’t get out. A couple of wonderful people gave me a copy of a book on Alzheimer’s to read with some great insights and tips on how to deal with a loved one who is suffering with losing their minds. It was eye opening and it allowed me to put on my big girl panties and respond differently. I began to feel my anger diminish and just be replaced with acceptance and heartbreak. A few short months later, his confusion ended and he was reunited with his beloved wife in a place where there is no more confusion, just love.

So today, as I work through my first father’s day without my father, I am flooded with all the wonderful memories of a man who stole my heart and showed me unconditional love; a man who taught me many things and the man who made me who I am today. Thanks Daddy, I love you.

Spring in Ireland

A trip to Ireland in the spring time proved to be an awesome time to go. We worried it would be cold, rainy and dreary, but oh how we were wrong. Springtime in Ireland is spectacular. Here are but a few of my favorite colorful and Cherry Blossom Treescenic pics.

One of the first things we noticed were these beautiful pink flowering trees.  They were everywhere.  Everyone on the bus was asking our tour guide about this spectacular tree.  We wanted to know what it was.  His response…I don’t know.  If you are a tour guide, shouldn’t you know the answer to this?  I mean these trees were everywhere.  Did I mention our tour guide was Canadian?  That’s ok, we managed to ask an actual resident of Ireland and we were told they were cherry blossom trees.  Who knew?  I need one in my yard.  Wonder if they grow in Oklahoma?

Tulips
I absolutely LOVE tulips.  Keith has promised me that when we get settled in the new house and he puts his master gardner gloves on, he will plant me some tulips.  Red I’m thinking.  Although a variety is also quite nice.

While in Killarney, we visited the grounds of this beautiful castle.  It was perfectly manicured and it was filled with those cherry blossom trees.  There were miles of walking trails and people were enjoying the beautiful day.  Rock MossWe had finished walking through the town and were waiting to board the bus when I noticed the cute little flowers growing out of the stone fence that surrounded the castle.  Beauty even grows out of stone in Ireland.

The day we visited Blarney Castle was almost beauty overload.  Again, perfectly manicured, clean and everything was blooming.  A couple of interesting things that were a bit out of the ordinary incuded a waterful and this weird little red plant growing in front of the waterfall.  I have no idea what it was and our “Canadian” tour guide didn’t either.  blarney waterfallred plant

Bluebells

A couple more spectacular flowers I came acropink flowersss that my camera had to capture.
The last few pics of flowers came from the day we visited the Cliffs of Moher.  The climb up to the top to take photos of Dandelionsthe ocean was fantastic. There were hundreds of people there that day and several tour buses.  The rain clouds had lifted and it was beautiful.  We climbed and climbed and climbed and took lots of ocean pics.  We just couldn’t stop looking at it.  As I was standing there just taking iRed Flowert all in I noticed a dandelion.  Yes, a dandelion, just like the dastardly little buggers that grow in Oklahoma and make me sneeze!  Well I had to take a picture of this little Irish dandelion and again,flowering moss growing out of a rock.  I think people thought I was nuts.  Oh well.  Beauty is truly everywhere you look, even in a rock.

Thanks for letting me share.

 

 

 

 

Three Days – Two Snakes

This has been an unusual spring. Apparently it is “snake” season, according to my daughter. I didn’t even know snakes had a season. All I do know is that I am TERRIFIED of snakes. ALL SNAKES. Once every so often I see a snake. I can’t even put a timeline on it. One snake every couple of years and usually it is a little grass snake that the lawnmower hacked.

Last summer in our old house, which is right next door to where we are living now, there was a snake at the base of our shade tree, right by the back patio and one of my little Cavaliers was headed right for it. It was coiled up, about 18 inches long and I FREAKED OUT. Grabbed the dogs, ran into the house yelling for my hero husband, who did not disappoint. “Took care of it” and we’ll leave it there. Do I know what kind of snake it was, NOPE. Am I worried? YEP.

Our next door neighbor is a country girl and she is out in her yard 18 hours a day 7 days a week. She has one of those Better Homes and Gardens yards. Beautiful, but a lot of work. But that is what she does, she loves it and she is exceptional at it. And, if you live next door, you get to enjoy seeing it. She is not afraid of anything. In the seven years we lived in that house, she has told me 3 or 4 times about the “copperhead” she killed in her yard that day. Yes a copperhead, next door to me, in the middle of town. So for all I know, that dastardly little 18 inch snake that my hero “took care of” could have been a copperhead too. We sold that house at the beginning of this year, not because of the snake incident, but sold it none the less.

We moved next door into my parents home while our new house is being constructed. We are on the tail end of this little camping adventure and living out of boxes. We had been discussing what towel racks we wanted in the new house when my hubby said, “come on, let’s go to Lowe’s and look around.” Off we went about 8:20 p.m., looked through our towel rack, toilette paper holder options and headed back home at 8:55 p.m. We pulled into the drive and headed for the front porch, which has about 4 stairs to get to the top. I am trailing a few feet behind Keith. As he reaches the base of the first step, he takes a very precise-looking military about face and is turning back toward me. It seemed odd and I allowed my gaze to drift to the porch. Terror surged through my body and it was all I could do to keep from screaming. The largest snake I have ever seen outside of a zoo was slithering up the steps onto this small front porch. Keith was hoping he had gotten turned around before I saw it. No such luck. What do we do now? I mean this thing was 6 feet long and as big around as my wrist. Did I mention we live in town! This did not resemble the 18 inch snake from last summer. It was a different color and had different markings. What the hell was it!!!!!

I remember very well how Keith “took care of” the last one and I was not in favor of him doing that with this one. It was just too big. I kept pleading with him to call animal control, or go two doors down and get the neighbor who is afraid of NOTHING. It slithered its way up onto the porch and it was getting dark outside. Keith had out his flashlight and we could see that it had hidden its big fat self in the corner behind my mother’s old concrete bench. Again, I begged my husband to call animal control. You know, sometimes husbands just don’t listen. Am I alone here??? He slipped off into the garage and found the same snake-killing tool he used on the last one and then he sent me into the house. A good thing and yet I did not want him around this behemoth of a snake. Since I normally do as I’m told, into the house I went. My little Cavaliers could not figure out what was happening on the front porch as Keith “took care of it”. Its remains went into our big trash can, which will keep me from taking out any trash until after the trash truck comes next week. I’m traumatized and ready to move into our new home even if we don’t have electricity or running water yet.

So here I am on my first Friday off for the summer. Just two days after the big snake event. I have had a wonderful morning. Drank my coffee slowly while the dogs were curled up in my lap. My favorite way to start my day. Keith headed off for work, I piddled around some more, took my shower and then decided to take the Cavaliers on a little walk in the park ,which is by our house. Our little boy Cavalier, Shawn, had been sitting and looking out the window all morning at the resident bunny in the neighborhood and he was just wound up tighter than a top. A nice little walk should take some of the wind out of his sail. I hooked my little angels up in their walking harnesses and off we went. We got to the top of our neighborhood and entered the park. There is a grassy area we have to walk through to get to the walking trail, but it is mowed and the burrs aren’t too bad, but some work will have to be done with fur when we get back. We walked along the beaten path got up onto the sidewalk and walked for a bit. Both dogs were slowing a bit so we turned to head back home. When we reached the end of the concrete sidewalk, we headed back across the beaten path we came in on and one that I have traversed across hundreds of times since living in this neighborhood. I kept trying to steer the dogs away from the grass that looked like it might have burrs. We were about half way down the path and getting close to the entrance to our neighborhood when I saw it. Something long and very dark gray or black. Was it a stick? I don’t remember seeing that stick when we came through here 15 minutes ago. My eyes followed the “stick” and you guessed it, not a stick. I knew for sure it wasn’t a stick when it angled up about 12 inches with a head that was turned and looking directly at me. CRAP! What is going on? Why is this happening to me? The second I realized it, and before the dogs saw it, we did that same move Keith did, except that the dogs and I took off running. Yes running. The entrance to our neighborhood was officially blocked off by this 4-5 foot black/gray snake. We had to take the long way home. Both dogs were panting like we had walked a hundred miles. I’m sure Shawn won’t care about bunnies for a while, at least not before a nap. For me, that is probably the last time while we live in this neighborhood that I will take this route to the park. Also, as I think about it, the snake was turned in the direction of my neighborhood. He’s probably headed for my house…. Did I mention I am TERRIFIED of snakes? Good thing Keith knows where that special tool is.

20140530-163644-59804379.jpg

Ten Years of Wonder and Amazement

Pidgeon Pt 2On May 29th, Keith and I celebrated the 10 year anniversary of our first date. Ten years! In many ways, it seems just like yesterday and I remember our courtship so well, or at least I think I do.

As you know from a previous blog, we met online. Best $19.95 investment I ever made. His “marketing plan” sold me the minute I read it. Now our first date was on May 29, 2004, but my $19.95 email to him was in late November of 2003. That’s a difference of 6 months. Are you wondering why the time gap? Well let me just tell you.

I emailed this man and we had a few email conversations. Small talk and chit chat initially. In December I ran into him. It was the first time I had ever seen him in real life. I was taking photos of children in my school district singing at his bank and I HOPED I would run into him. Yes, I voluntarily offered to go and take pictures of these adorable children singing to see him. Anyway, I liked what I saw. He actually saw me from across the room, recognized me and came over to me. We talked for a few minutes while in a group of people. He was very nice, polite, handsome and I was thrilled to have met him.

As it so happened my next door neighbor and dear friend was the music director of the school whose students were singing and she had been in a play with him recently. I went over to her house after work that day and thought I would very subtly ask her about him. She spoke very highly of him and how nice he was and professional and then she said something that quite frankly, made me sit up and pay attention. She very casually mentioned that oh, yes and I think he just started dating … and said her name. My friend then said, why do you ask???? I very casually said, oh I met him at the bank today and was just wondering who he was. Slick huh?

I was heartsick. I mean I was perfect for him. I read his marketing plan. The girl he was looking for WAS ME! How dare some other girl get in the way of that. Then I thought, well it figures. Finally find someone who appears to be amazing and someone else has snatched him up. I was devastated. I later emailed him and he confirmed that yes he had just started seeing someone but that he had enjoyed talking to me. I wished him luck and I closed that chapter of hope in my life.

Fast forward to the end of February 2004. It was a Monday night and I’m bowling league with my girlfriends. I had no man in my life and I had worked in hose and heels all day so I had on my sweat pants and my long comfy slouchy shirt. I went into the snack bar and got my one beer for the evening (a light beer). Sitting in the snack bar was Keith and his 5 year old grandson. I did a double take and he did a double take. We spoke cordially, told him it was good to see him and I headed back to bowl. Well crap, I could not have looked worse. Sweat pants! Really!

His little grandson was in town and he wanted to go bowling. How sweet was that? I love to bowl you know, it’s in my blood. Well when it wasn’t his turn to bowl, he would come down and talk, you know just chit chat. He really did have a great personality and we didn’t have any trouble talking. It was effortless. After they finished bowling a couple of games he came down and told me bye and they left. When I got home that night I emailed him, told him it was good to see him, that his grandson was a cutie and I hoped everything was going well for him… There, I put on my big girl panties and again, accepted defeat to another woman.

Two weeks later, I get an email from guess who???? I was shocked. He had responded to my email telling me he enjoyed visiting with me too, that yes he was still seeing someone BUT he did enjoy talking to me and maybe we could continue emailing as “friends”. I’LL TAKE IT. Well I am no dumb blonde and I knew that if things were perfect or even good with … he would not be talking to me. There is a crack in the plaster and if I can just be patient, the crack might split open and there I would be standing on the other side.

We emailed each other almost every day talking about how our day went, family members, stuff going on a work, just general things. It was really great. We got to know one another very well before we ever had our first date.   About 12 weeks later, the stars aligned and the crack in the wall split wide open. When it did, I was standing on the other side and I’ve been standing there by his side every day ever since.

The Things You Can See on an Irish Tour Bus

One of the great things about our recent trip to Ireland, a country we have never been in, was that we were on a guided tour.  Every few nights we stayed in a different hotel, rode on a comfortable charter bus every day and learned a lot about Ireland from our tour director David, a Canadian.  Never fear, our bus driver was a young man from Ireland with an adorable Irish accent and we all loved him.  His name was Brian.    Since we didn’t have to drive and figure out the crazy roads with the crazy “round abouts”, we could just enjoy the view and take in the sites.  I had my camera ready for anything.  Of course sometimes taking pictures through the window of a moving tour bus results in less than perfect pictures.  But here are some of my favorite things we saw while taking it all in.

Sheep are so cute and Ireland has lots of sheep.  All kinds of sheep too, long haired, short haired, curly haired.  They all had colors spray painted on parts of their bodies which meant different things.  It could mean who their owner was, it could mean what field they were supposed to be in or it could mean who their daddy was.  I have never been able to eat lamb and thisGoat King trip was no exception.  In fact, the one day I thought I might eat Irish Stew, it had lamb in it.  Nope, couldn’t do it.  Check out this statue of a goat with a crown.  He was prominently displayed in one of the towns we drove through.  He even has a name, but I just can’t remember it.  Information overload on the tour bus, sorry.

They even had cows in Ireland.  When I was a little girl, my grandpa had a farm and he raised cows.  When we would go visit him, I would take my little Kodak Instamatic camera and take picture after picture of cows.  My mother would take my film down and drop it off to be developed onCowsly to find that every photo was of a cow.  So here I am in Ireland, taking pictures of cows.  My mom would be so proud.

I love the ocean and could not wait for the day when we did the Ring of Kerry and I was not disappointed.  We worked our way out to Dingle Bay and around the Ring to spectacular views of the ocean.  We had lunch at a cute little cafe which had amazing views.  One thing I did notice was that this area was very remote, yet there were quite a few homes and people living out on the edges.  Everyone on the bus kept wondering where the nearest Wal-Mart was. Dingle Bay

It seemed odd but as you are driving through the country side here and there you will see the remnants of  castles.  Some are in better shape than others, but castles none the Castleless.  I got to thinking, I wonder how many there really are.  Can you imagine the time when they were all prevalent?

Periodically our bus would stop at a turnout in the road at scenic points.  We would all get out of the bus and snap pictures.  One of these turnouts was overlooking a beautiful meadow and creek.  Standing there was an Irish man Irish Man and Dogwith a donkey and an adorable dog sitting on the back of the donkey.  He was the cutest thing, the dog, not the man.  I wonder how long they hang out at this spot because I know tour buses come through all day long and I did see people having their picture made with this Irish looking man and dropping coins in a box for him.

I was really missing our little dogs while we were traveling.  The day we went to Blarney Castle I saw a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel named Freddie.  He was the same color as our little Shawn.  I stopped the manFreddie and asked if I could pet his dog and he was happy to oblige.  Freddie however was a bit shy but he was adorable.  I was thinking that Freddie maybe should have gone up to kiss the Blarney Stone so he could have been given the gift of gab too.  He was terribly quiet.  Here this Irish Cavalier has a very American name “Freddie”, and our Cavalier has a very Irish name “Shawn”.  Go figure.

Now for all my fellow Ardmoreites, look at this sign we came across!  Yep, Ardmore, ArdmoreIreland.  We all really wanted to drive through this small seaside village, but alas our tour director said no.  But our amazing driver Brian did pull over so we could all snap pics.  Thanks Brian, you’re a peach.

More beauty from Ireland to come….

 

When in Ireland ….

Dairy FarmJust returned from a fabulous 10 day tour of the beautiful country of Ireland. We have been looking forward to this trip for over a year and it finally arrived. We and 30 other people from my community traveled to Ireland and spent countless hours together. It was so much fun, but as you can imagine, I’ve got some things to say about the trip over the next few weeks and I feel compelled to start with “food and drink”. I am a pretty simple girl, with pretty simple food tastes, but when I travel I like to be open minded to other cultures and experiment a little. However, I do have my limits and I’ll get to that.

Our first night in Ireland we were taken to an Irish pub for dinner and then we got to see an Irish show of song, dance and a wee bit of story telling. The first thing we learned was to never let the truth get in the way of a good story. That was our mantra for the time we were there. We had a choice of three entrees to eat so my decision was pretty simple, but when the waiter asked if I wanted a “pint” I was in limbo. I’ve heard of a pint but how much is a pint. It seems terribly big to me. I mean if he had said would you like a cup, 2 cups or half a gallon then I could have related. I decided I would just have a simple beverage and I let someone else order the “pint”. Then I heard the waiter tell someone else they could have a “half pint”. OMG, what is that! Someone in our group got brave and ordered the “half pint” of Guinness. I was very curious to see it and when it arrived, I knew right then, I could handle a half pint. Lesson learned for day one.

Breakfast was provided each morning at each hotel. Our tour director would tell us what time our breakfast started and what time the bus departed each day. Well in order for me to be ready I would get up about 30 minutes before Keith. Our Irish bathrooms were not really “two butt” bathrooms so we had to get ready in shifts. Since I am a caffeine junky and I need caffeine immediately upon waking, this always presents an issue when I travel. Most of the time, there is a coffee pot in the room and I just make me a little cup of coffee and my day can begin. Well I noticed a little coffee pot looking thing there on our first night, but didn’t really explore its options until the next morning, when quite frankly, it was too late. I couldn’t figure that thing out and I did not want to start my day in a lack of caffeine fog/headache. Herbalife Liftoff to the rescue. Plopped one into water and that became my first cup of coffee each morning until I could get to breakfast.

Breakfast each morning consisted of eggs, rashers, sausages, black pudding, cold cereal, toast, scones, croissants, fruit, yogurt and porridge. So right off the bat there are three things that strike me as odd; rashers, black pudding and porridge. When I looked inside of the container that said “rashers”, it appeared bacon-like, but different. Indeed that was what the Irish refer to as bacon, me not so much. The big black kettle of porridge, was actually their version of oatmeal. Whew, I’m safe. I can have some oatmeal every morning. But then there is a container with what looks like a muffin type substance labeled “black pudding”. Ok, it does kind of have a black color, but nothing about it is pudding-ish. You know the phrase, “when in Rome.” Well that doesn’t always speak for me. I let the black pudding muffin stay put until I knew more.

As you might imagine, the breakfast tables were all curious about this “black pudding thing”. Now I cannot relate to you exactly what David our tour guide told us, but here’s what Wikipedia says about “black pudding.

Black pudding, otherwise known as blood sausage, is a dark sausage stuffed with animal blood seasoned and cooked with fillers such as bits of meat, suet, oats, or barley and congealed until solid. Although this dish is normally made with cow or pig blood, it can also be made with the blood of ducks, geese, and lambs. The fillers, seasonings, and type of animal blood used vary according to regional tastes and local availability.

Um. no, I’m not eating that……I’ll stick with porridge please.

Our first day, we were in the beautiful city of Dublin. Keith and I were very brave and we strolled through the streets like a pro, to us only I’m sure. Every time we stopped to check our map it was evident that we were tourists and each time I opened my mouth to speak, “I” had an accent. Yes “I” apparently have an accent. What we discovered very quickly was that American culture was alive and well in Dublin, Ireland. We stopped in a little convenience store for sunglasses and there was a cooler with all the amazing Irish beverages AND Budweiser and Coors Light. American BeerStrolling through the streets of Ireland we got a whiff of fresh bread baking. Oh my goodness, what was this wonderful smell? Where was it coming from? We turned to find the wonderful smell was from a Subway Deli. Down the block you could stop in at a McDonalds or a Burger King. StarbucksAfter miles of walking we came upon my favorite bit of America, a Starbucks. In we went for a Chi Latte. No quite weaned off American cuisine yet. This is where I learned I had an accent. When we told the young barista we were from Ardmore, Oklahoma, she asked if it was near Tulsa. When I explained we lived in south central Oklahoma near the Texas border. Her reply to me, “Oh, I hear it now.”

We visited the beautiful little community of Kilkenny a few days later. It was a short little bus stop on our way to the Blarney Castle, where Keith was determined to kiss the Blarney Stone. We were wondering through this adorable little town we can came upon an eating establishParis TXment that’s name was “Paris Texas Bar/Smokehouse”.   Wow, do many people in Ireland know there is a Paris, Texas? Better yet, has anyone in Ireland ever been to Paris, Texas. Well we have and maybe the owner of this establishment. Coffee & SconeWe were getting a little hungry and we stopped in this cute little bakery. I ordered coffee (of course) and a freshly baked warm fruit scone (which looks as tastes like a biscuit). Keith had his daily dose of vegetables, he had carrot cake.

We continued on to Blarney Castle and had a wonderful visit. I wondered around and took pictures while Keith got in line to kiss the stone. While I was waiting for Keith, I pulled up a chair in this cute little outdoor café. Pretty soon I noticed I was not alone. Walmart BirdsJust over my shoulder were two of Ireland’s Wal-Mart birds. You know, those scraggly little birds you always see picking up pieces of food in the parking lot. Well these guys were not scraggly and I think had they wanted the food in someone’s plate, they could have made you move. They made me want to move and I had no food in front of me.

We pulled out of Killarney one morning headed for the Ring of Kerry. Our tour guide told us we were going to be stopping shortly at a place that was going to give us free Irish Coffee. I was a little worried. A friend of ours had tried Irish Coffee at the hotel our first night there and I watched his face as he drank it. Wasn’t a good face. But here I am in Ireland, shouldn’t I try Irish coffee? I mean I do love coffee, even though the coffee in Ireland was way stronger than I was used to. Irish CoffeeAs we entered the shop, this adorable young man was standing there with glasses full of hot, fresh Irish Coffee. OK, I’ll try it. OMG! It was amazing. The whisky taste was nonexistent and the whipped cream on top was awesome. Apparently they knew how to make Irish Coffee better here than in our hotel. I must learn how to do this at home.

A few days later we visited an actual dairy farm. It was the Molanna Diary Farm and it had been in this man’s family for hundreds of years. They bring tour buses through this small home several times a week. Mrs. Molanna had fresh coffee and again fresh scones ready for us. However, her scones were cut in half with fresh jam and fresh whipped cream. Wow! I know I put on pounds while we were there. Her husband told us about the farm and some great family stories. He had a VERY heavy Irish accent and I caught about every third word.  Now who has an accent?

Keith and I are not much on beer, but we kept trying to give this Irish ale a shot. We would try different types each day and discovered that we kind of liked the pale ales. In fact there were a couple we kind of liked. But one evening at dinner we ordered a Bulmers Irish Cider. That was it. That was our drink.Pat Collins Bar I now need to find it in America. We liked it so much, we even had it with our lunch in the middle of the day when we stopped for lunch at Pat Collins Bar. Oh and it appears Bill Clinton may have also visited Pat Collins bar. They had a signed picture of him in there. Again, America is never too far away.

Stay tuned in the weeks to come for more Irish adventures.